Two remand prisoners enjoy a game of foosball at Feltham Young Offenders Institution in London in 1999. Photo by Matthew Fearn / PA Archive
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I teach at a prison. The prisoners’ moods can be affected by a variety of things: the feeling of uncertainty in the run up to an imminent sentencing, an irritating new cellmate, an unhelpful officer on the wing. Probably the most aggravating factors, however, are those that occur outside prison walls; missing funerals, children’s birthdays, pre-booked vacations… oh, and international soccer tournaments.
I’m covering an art class this week, and I asked the prisoners in my group to describe their experience of tournament soccer from behind bars.
THE SCREWS
Gary, 33, is an Arsenal and England fan. Having served several custodial sentences since his late teens, this isn’t the first tournament he’s seen from inside prison. “It’s awful, but you get used to it. Just the same as missing birthdays and Christmas really,” he says.
I’ve heard that tensions between officers and prisoners can worsen during tournaments and ask Gary if he has witnessed this. “Yeah. Thing is, the screws resent being here as much as we do. If there’s a big game on, they want a nice quiet wing, so they can sit in their little room and watch the full ninety minutes uninterrupted. They’ve locked down wings for that exact reason, the twats. It’s a pisstake, really.”
Gary continues to talk about the role of officers during tournament time. He describes an officer who would routinely turn off the television signal at regular intervals during matches, meaning that the entire wing was plunged into darkness at various key points during matches. “A few weeks later, someone up on the fours [fourth floor] poured a cup of tea down on him, burned the top of his head. He went fucking nuts, but you can’t say he didn’t have it coming.”
Gary’s Euro 2016 winners: Spain
ON BALE
Neil, 35, is a Swansea City and Wales fan; a season ticket holder at the Liberty Stadium, he’s also been to the vast majority of Wales home games since he was 15. I ask him how it feels to be locked up during Wales’s first tournament appearance since the 1958 World Cup. “Absolutely fucking gutted, mate,” he says. “All the boys I go to games with are out in France, and I’m stuck on A-Wing like a proper donut. My fault though like, I’ll have to behave for the next one.”
Neil does seem genuinely upset about missing the tournament, particularly when describing how, while growing up, international games were the only time he and his dad would hang out. While Neil does get a bit of stick from the rest of the group, various “one man team” and “sheep-shagger” accusations, they definitely go easy on him. I ask Neil whether he will return the favor should Wales beat England in its upcoming group game. “Nah. My cellmate’s English. I’ll be terrorizing him all night if we win, same goes for all these lads. Bale’s going to fucking ruin England!”
Neil’s Euro 2016 winners: Germany (or Wales).
HOOCH
Steve, 48, is a Liverpool and Republic of Ireland fan. I’ve taught Steve before and got to know him fairly well when he was on the prison peer mentor scheme—he gave me a good level of insight into the production of hooch in jail, and I’m keen to know whether this is particularly prominent during major events like soccer tournaments. “It goes into overdrive. Weeks, even a couple of months, in advance, you’ll get people asking for it, putting their names down.” Does this also have an effect on the prices? “Yeah, you’ll be paying double normal price. Problem is when people can’t pay it back. They end up paying double again from their canteen [weekly shopping allowance for additional food and toiletries] for the next month—either that or getting their heads kicked in.”
Given Gary’s tales of officers during tournaments, I ask Steve whether he has anything to add in this department. “There’s been some rotten sorts in my time, proper fucking stinkers. But fair play we used to have one who’d bring us slices of pizza to the cells during matches, even the odd can. But this is going back now. No common sense from them these days, just bitter jobsworths. No offense, but why can’t we be allowed to stay in our cells for afternoon games? All we want is a fair shake, and being allowed to watch a game of footie doesn’t seem like too much to ask.”
Steve’s Euro 2016 winners: France
THE FIGHTS
Kairon, 22, is a Chelsea and England fan. I ask him what he’ll miss the most about watching the Euros banged up. “It’s the TVs in the cells. I had a better one in my bedroom when I was ten, bro. It’s like traveling back in time. Literally I called my dad last week, and he’s gone to Tesco and spent two grand on a new one for his flat. It’s all too much for me. I’m not even joking, fam!”
Having spoken with Kairon previously, I know that like a lot of the younger lads I’ve met in prison, he is pretty quick to get involved in fights or confrontations with other prisoners, although he is seemingly committed to changing this. I ask if he expects to see more trouble on the wing over the course of the Euros. “Definitely, but I don’t think the fighting is anything to do with the football itself. I was inside for the World Cup, and there were mad fights after games, mostly to do with who’d lost money on a match or some similar shit. People were betting big, ridiculous amounts without thinking about the consequences. It got pure ugly for weeks. Some people are probably still paying out for it now!”
Kairon’s Euro 2016 winners: Germany
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I’ve found that the atmosphere on a prison wing can fluctuate wildly over seemingly minor issues. It’s always a charged environment at the best of times, and it’s noticeable to me that talking about this subject, even with such an easy going group of prisoners, has caused a little bit of apprehension. As the conversation turns to the game itself, Kairon makes reference to the news footage of Russian and English fans causing mayhem on French streets: “People sitting in their cells see that, and it’s getting them all hype. You see chairs being thrown, and suddenly you feel like doing that the next time a screw acts like a dick… then you do your breathing exercises innit!”
