Doctors in Lebanon have documented an unusual infection in a man’s penis. If it turns out to be what they think it is, it would be the first documented case of this specific malady. Are you ready for it? His dick got food poisoning. There’s still time to click on another article.
It all started when the guy had “vigorous” sex with his wife after a meal, as reported in the NY Post. And then he started vomiting and had severe diarrhea. And then his penis started swelling, and reddening, and scabbing. This went on for about a week before he had enough. The 38-year-old Lebanese man sought treatment from the American University of Beirut Medical Center.
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After taking a swab of his swollen and scabby penis, the doctors found Bacillus cereus, a type of bacteria commonly associated with food poisoning. Specifically, the kind of bacteria that develops on cooked rice that’s been left out too long. The phenomenon of rice becoming contaminated with bacteria that can make you sick actually has a nickname. It’s called Fried Rice Syndrome. It’s not usually found in a penis.
The doctors aren’t totally sure as to how this happened, but they have some theories. They are, of course, disgusting, so this is your last chance to step away from this article. You could read about how a little lost penguin was found. You could learn about the first-ever Pokémon card. You could watch Greek villagers throw thousands of rockets at each other. Or you could read this:
The doctors suspect that during sexual intercourse, his penis somehow came into contact with his own vomit and/or diarrhea.
That, combined with the “vigorous” sex, may have caused increased blood flow and thus more potential for infection. If all of this sounds too crazy to be true, it was actually reported in an official medical journal called The Annals of Medicine and Surgery. The peer review process means other researchers will now verify its veracity. But so far this sounds pretty official and horrifying.
Doctors prescribed a topical antibiotic that the man was told to apply three times a day after washing and gently drying his penis. The infection is now gone, and his penis is back to its old self. Let this be a reminder not to put your penis anywhere near your own vomit and diarrhea—during sex or otherwise.
