As much as I love a three-headed vibrator, I usually find myself gravitating towards sex toys that forgo a dizzying amount of bells, whistles, and anal beads for something a little more minimalist in design. I still want high-tech engineering, of course, and an aesthetic worthy of MoMA PS1. I just don’t want a sex toy that feels like a Bop It.
Remember the simpler days of humping throw pillows? The ones with super-stuffed, stiff corners that your aunt sewed thanks to that Joanne’s promo on brocade fabric? We were really onto something with that. In fact, there’s an entire VICE article dedicated to some of the best humping and grinding vibrators that have come out in recent years, from the GOATed Ruby Glow Blush vibrator to wearable panty vibes designed to be worn wherever the wind may blow you. And when I heard that Fun Factory was releasing a new-and-improved version of its own humping or “lay-on” vibe, the Laya III, I was curious to see how it would stack-up to the rest of the German brand’s high-tech, well-engineered toys.
LAYA III Lay-on Vibrator (opens in a new window)
I’ve tried quite a few lay-on vibes that are too stiff, awkwardly shaped, or just don’t move with my body naturally, so I couldn’t wait to see whether Laya III would deliver on its promise of both broad and targeted clitoral stimulation; the vibrator is bean-shaped, albeit with one end that’s slightly smaller than the other, which looked like it could deliver a broad spectrum of stimulation. So, I whipped out my lube, and got ready to see if the Laya III could live up to—and even surpass—the legacy of its preceding, bestselling ancestors.
First impressions
I’ve said it a million times before, and I’ll say it again: I will always have a soft spot for the aesthetic of Fun Factory’s toys, because the pop-art shapes and bulbous, light-up buttons remind me of the iMac G3. The Laya III is no exception:
The vibrator is also waterproof, and has a rechargeable battery with a two-hour life on a full charge. Props to the Fun Factory team for making the charging cable easily distinguishable from the rest of my errant cords and cables:
What was rad
I was met with the same smooth, silky medical-grade silicone that I love about all of Fun Factory’s toys, but I wasn’t expecting the Laya III to give me a Proustian madeleine experience. I’ve held this before, I thought, realizing that the gently ridged, rippled texture felt like those fancy, Belgian seashell-shaped chocolates. I was already in love.
I charged up the vibrator for an afternoon, and placed it on my nightstand. I knew that I could test it whenever, but I was hoping to use it during the early hours of the morning, mid-spicy dream. There’s nothing more frustrating than fumbling around for a complicated vibrator in those instances, and I hoped that the “lay-on” design of Laya III would let me lean into my version of morning wood, which belongs to the genre of horniness in Kate Bush’s “Babooshka” music video: gauzy, spooky, and slightly tinged with sexual frustration (usually, from inability to find a vibrator in time).
Laya III did not disappoint. The vibrator felt so intuitive to use, because the toy’s palm-length size and bean-like shape made it easy to cradle in my hand and maneuver around without ever really needing to fully wake up. There are seven vibration speeds and five patterns to play with, and while the one I landed on had the same rhythm of Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own,” I was surprised that all of them were pretty damn quiet, and the toy as a whole let me enjoy a hazy, horny morning spank sesh.
The stand-out feature of Laya III, however, was how easily it can be used to provide targeted clitoral stimulation by being placed higher on your vulva, or simultaneous anal and clitoral stimulation; Just slide the bean down so that the smaller tip reaches your booty hole, and you’re ready to hump and grind to your gooch’s content. Again: Don’t underestimate the importance of a sex toy’s overall shape to really pull its weight for stimulation.
What was tricky
The buttons are easy enough to navigate, but I would love it if this vibrator could be synched up to a smartphone application for solo or partner play.
TL;DR
This is the perfect example of a great low-commitment vibrator, because all you have to do to use it is grope for it in the night/morning, and lay down on it. Seriously. It’s every hot and lazy person’s dream. The toy is quiet, waterproof, easy to maneuver, and a great candidate for being added to my lineup of travel-proof sex toys. Pillow humpers walked so that the Laya III could run.
The Laya III vibrator can be purchased at Fun Factory.
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