The Coolest Patio Furniture for Under $100

Welcome to Under a Hundo, where your faithful VICE editors find the best versions of anything and everything you're desperately seeking—all for under $100. Whether it’s fancy knives, instant-vacation-vibes patio furniture, or suspiciously underpriced ghost-hunting equipment, we’ve got your thrifty needs covered.

As we unthaw our spring personas, we’re ISO a change of scenery for our outdoor spaces. Meaning, everything from that one part of the fire escape that gets good afternoon light, to the corner of your (or your quar bud’s) patio, backyard, or roof that could use some love.

Unfortunately, this XXL mid-century modern outdoor orgy bed is going to have to wait, as our paychecks can only be stretched so far beyond, well, paying rent. But that doesn’t mean we have to settle for (bad) cheap patio furniture, or a stale ambiance as we redecorate our outdoor spaces for spring. That’s why we’ve given ourselves the challenge of finding the best cheap patio decor for under $100 that looks like a million bucks, or at least just makes the yard look less feral. 

Perhaps you’re in need of new planters (or just plants? Thisaway, PLS), or a stain-tolerant outdoor rug that brings some color to your solo hacky sack seshes (hot). Maybe you want something minimalist and bright for your porch, or perhaps you’d like your backyard to have all the cursed horniness of a 1990s Olive Garden smoking patio? You bring the White Claw, and we’ll bring the Grateful Dead string lights. 

We’re picturing these beauties on a bunch of flagstone tiles in a minimalist villa, beside an olive tree, under the Tuscan (or Atascadero!) sun. They’re the kind of cheap patio furniture that looks way for expensive than it is, a.k.a. does the most without doing much, which we love.

Not only can you fold this full bistro set up for winter when it’s time to store your nuts again, but it’s made out of real wood and coated with a natural finish. The highly-rated set has over 200 reviews on Amazon, including one customer who writes “NO assembly required! Huge bonus for me as I do not enjoy assembling furniture.” Same, king.

We will happily die on a lawn chair. There is nothing that says, “I am chafing my thighs and throwing back Nathan’s without a care in the world” like a solid ass lawn chair, which your family has made you drag into the car from a day at the lake/beach/sidewalk for years, and which you will now force your inner sanctum to drag in as well. Not that that’s hard; These babies are lightweight and oh-so-easy to stash.

We know, we know. This outdoor bench is a smidge over budget, but it’s also doing the work of 1) a solid wood bench and 2) two XL planters. It’s 27% off right now at Wayfair, where it has earned a 4.7-star average rating from over 2,800 reviews. As one fan writes, “Seriously, I need to buy 2. This was bought at an incredible price and adds so much character to our patio already.”

Intended for outdoor use, this textured rug is fade-resistant and ready to take whatever spillage/loose fluids your crew has coming this spring. The burnt orange and red shade is spicy, but there are a dozen other colorways such as “Cancun Sunset” and “Big Sur Ash” that have caught our eye. As one Amazon reviewer writes, “I bought it for my dogs to lay on, and the sun has yet to fade it which is a good sign.”

If you have ever used the word “heretofore,” this is the outdoor rug for you. Not only does it have a 4.8-star average rating from over 1,600 reviews on Amazon, but it looks like it rolled out of Merge Mansion. Cop it while it’s 48% off.

If a yard doesn’t have string lights, does it even exist? According to one of our writers who owns these, this weatherproof set can withstand a hurricane…

… While another staff writer says these stringlights survived an entire winter (snow included) on her fire escape.

We know you, rider. You run on Jerry Time, and want to transform your patio into the perfect place for blazing up with your fellow Deadheads and watching Bio-Dome while munching on grilled cheese sammies. We humbly suggest these bestselling dancing bear lights to add a bit of warmth and color to your shroom trip gathering. Hot tip: They’re also the perfect housewarming gift for the Grateful Dead fan in your life.

One of the best combos, especially if you’re too lazy to work with string lights. Just place a self-timed faux-flame candle inside a vibey lantern to give off light, and make the yard insantly more atmospheric.

We’d be happy to kick off our clogs on these mats before entering your backyard oasis. They establish the vibe, and keep you from trailing schmutz everywhere. If you’re microdosing shrooms as you read this, we suggest opting for the first pastoral mat; If you’re the ghost of a sea captain, we suggest West Elm’s woven coir doormat.

There’s nothing more S T R E S S  than having an outdoor space with plenty of chairs, but no surfaces. It’s borderline culty, which we’re kind of into on the one hand, but at the end of the ten-thousand hour day we favor a charming side table that can weather the seasons, and hold our coffee (and other gorgeous coffee accouterments).

This outdoor side table is perfect for perching your feet, beer, rolling tray, and even the rear end of an unexpected guest. It has a 4.6-star average rating from over 2,000 reviews on Amazon, including one fan who writes, “This little stool handled 400lbs easily, and NO it doesn’t fold up or get awkward when you go to sit in it. It’s really lightweight but heavy-duty.”

You need a Round Table for your Camelot, and this mid-century modern table comes in nine colorways, from dusty rose to sage green. It has a 4.6-star average rating from over 1,700 reviews on Amazon. As one customer writes, “This is 90% of the time my kids activity table. 10% [of the] time my ladies’ night patio table! It's brilliant.”

What’s spring without an outdoor trolley of bitters, La Croix, and booze? There comes a proud point in every person’s life when they must stock a swole bar cart, and we suggest the sunny, two-tiered Novogratz Penelope cart, which is currently 27% off, or the cooler-cart-table hybrid cart from Bluu, which will keep your libations icy fresh for hours.

While we love the classic Mr. McGregor terracotta pot, our eyes have been staring at the exact. Same. Ones. For many years now. Areaware’s stacking planter cuts a whimsical Michelin Man silhouette, while its glazed blue terracotta pot by artist Simone Brewster is the perfect bauhaus-meets-Frida-Kahlo’s-casa vibe.

Remember, it’s important to sprinkle your yard with unique points of visual interest. We know your guests won’t forget the conga line of stray cats in heat on the neighbor’s roof, but why not draw their attention to a checkered planter, or an XXL plant holder from Amazon that could fit a fiddle leaf fig/Danny Devito?

Don’t have much space for floor-bound pots? A chic flying saucer for your pothos, cacti, and whatever else isn’t dead (congrats, grad) will help, and we especially dig this one as way to fill your area with more green (or mosquito repellent candles, or Bratz Dolls; Do you).

The image of a Jovial Low-Key Hot Person tossing back their hair, and throwing down new tile is pivotal to the development of every home makeover movie, including yours. These wood slats will cover up the stain in the spot of the accident that happened that no one in your friend group is allowed to talk about. 

Cover up that crusty fence! This is very much the kitsch backyard patio, tiki bar-adjacent, mini-golf faux greenery fantasy we have been looking for. It’s a classic. Just think about how nice these plastique vines will look under the light of your camera’s flash, FR. 

Hammocks aren’t just for swingers, baby—and these two shout “I’d rather be napping, Gerald!” The pros: They’re lightweight and breezy. The cons: You may end up neglecting all of your other indoor and outdoor furniture. If you’re blessed with trees, opt for the fringed Achilles hammock from Wayfair; If you’re tree-less, the double hammock from Amazon comes with its own swole frame.

You don’t need a Nancy Meyers gazebo to stay cool—just a smartly positioned umbrella or shade sail, such as this fringed number from Cost Plus World Market, or this versatile, rectangular suspended shade named Jalissa.

See you at the BBQ, jabroni.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.