The Bernie Mittens Meme Is Now a Porn

The image of Bernie Sanders bundled up and minding his own business at President Joe Biden's inauguration has now completed the meme cycle: funny on its own, funny when placed in every other possible context, not funny to people who projected their issues way too far into it, merch (including prayer candles), and now, porn parody.

Adult performer Elle Hell recreated Sanders' inauguration look in a jerk-off instructional video, "I'm Once Again Asking You to Cum."

In the video, she's wearing the same style of olive green coat and huge, Vermont-made gloves that Sanders wore to the inauguration (and in his "I'm once again asking" video, which also became a meme—the man is consistent), and completed the look with the standard-issue light blue surgical mask and manilla envelope. She's a lot more soft-spoken than the senator, but the cosplay checks out. 

"Too many hardworking Americans are working two, three jobs just to make ends meet," she says to the camera. "I think Americans should be able to work one job to take care of things." That job being a handjob, of course.

I won't spoil what happens next, but you can imagine what happens under the coat and with those itchy-looking mittens. Elle told me that she already had the uncanny mittens on hand; they were a gift from her mother-in-law last Christmas. "Not the same pattern as Bernie's but certainly the same aura!" she said. "The green jacket has been a longstanding piece of my partner's wardrobe—10+ years old"

Elle said she's a longtime fan of Sanders, and was hoping for him in the 2016 and 2020 primaries and presidential races. "My grandparents did a lot of work in socialism in their younger days and I am from Milwaukee, [which has] a long history of socialism," she said. "Bernie's priorities for the country align strongest with mine out of any candidate I have experienced since adulthood." 

While Sanders voted for the passage of FOSTA-SESTA in April 2018, a bill that continues to be harmful to sex workers, he co-sponsored another bill a year later to study its impacts on sex worker safety and whether it actually reduced sex trafficking. In June 2019—during his run for president—he said he'd consider decriminalizing sex work. 

This isn't the first time Sanders has been hornily parodied: there's this Weekend at Bernie Sanders' erotica book on Amazon, and adult site Cam Soda made an orgy parody of Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, Megan Kelly and Bernie Sanders four years ago. How far we've come.

Bernie Sanders masturbating with mittens isn't even the most unconventional porn Elle makes: she also specializes in fart porn, and previous parodies include "POV: You Bust a Load on ET's Fat Ass" and "Wisconsin Girl Humps Dryer."   

"Porn doesn't always have to be sexy, penetration, or even masturbation," Elle said. "Sometimes it's silly and gives you a laugh. At the end of the day, whether someone laughed, came, or both, I am happy that it was enjoyed."