On the eighth day, God made you, gorgeous, gorgeous Geminis. She mainlined some cold brew, hopped on an E-bike, and realized just how fun it is to stir the pot when you give the spoon to the most hot, unbothered, inquisitive sign of the zodiac. This week marks the beginning of the season (May 21 to June 20) for the astrological air sign symbolized by twins—or better yet, Rihanna’s bébé Gemini—and the beginning of a period to celebrate the curious, social butterfly of the zodiac.
Geminis are here for a good time, not a long time. They’re ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, and are damn good at finding out the best gossip, juiciest new reads, and coolest local art classes. As with their air sign kin, Aquarius, they’re naturally inquisitive and cultivate many hobbies with ease—only a Gemini will wax a little more philosophical after two or three bottles of wine. They’re charming, always smell good, and the perfect plus one at a wedding. They also love to be the center of attention—and honestly, they deserve it, because no one knows how to effortlessly command a room quite like a Gemini and their delicious portfolio of personalities and interests.
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A Gemini will challenge you, pick a fight as foreplay, and love you forever (if you give them attention). Jean-Paul Sartre was a Gemini. So is Angelina Jolie, Azealia Banks, and Stevie Nicks, who may or may not have put a spell on her ex during a live performance (very Gemini). This sign will teach you how to live with a little more joie de vivre, but will always keep you on your toes (thank god Taurus season let us chill out beforehand). They deserve the presents that feed their chaotic, intellectual souls, from clever tech to personalized undies and so much more. Grab your pack of 27s, and let’s go shopping for everyone’s favorite twins.
The ultimate Gemini soundtrack
Enter Tupac Shakur, our late Gemini King. This exhaustive LP of the iconic artist’s greatest hits would be perfect for every Gemini’s shelf, whether they own a record player or not.
Greatest Hits (opens in a new window)
“I read a book about that”
Geminis are like walking encyclopedias. They’re voracious readers who crave hobbies more than a Pisces craves hot crocodile tears. They deserve a veritable guide to NASA’s universe—or just a gift card from TASCHEN, our favorite place for beautiful art books. “People always say gift cards seem impersonal,” an IRL Gemini told me, “But I LOVE gift cards to local bookshops, wine shops, restaurants, what have you. [We have] varied interests [and] like to choose for ourselves.”
Shapeshifting sneakers
Your Gemini contains multitudes, and they deserve a pair of comfy sneakers that can take them from the trail to the club and wherever else the wind (they are an air sign, after all) blows them. These gel sneakers from ASICS x Brain Dead are dressed in a mix of earthy purples, a mossy teal, neon green, and soft orange underbelly to help your Gemini shapeshift like a pro.
Gel-Nimbus 9 (opens in a new window)
The resident photog
You know how there’s always one person at the party who remembers to bring a camera? That one person who nonchalantly slides a Harman out of their fanny pack to capture the best post-club moments and bodega runs? They’re usually a Gemini, and they would love this slick reusable disposable camera, which comes with two rolls of film. As photographer Scott Walker writes in his review of the camera for VICE, “The photos are grainy, black and white, and dreamy in a way that will maybe even make you feel like you’re a little drunk.”
Something chaotic and hot
Every Gemini radiates hot energy without trying. It’s not their fault! They were born that way, so don’t get jealous. (But, yes, they are trying to make you jealous. It turns them on.) Spoil your air sign with a thong that can be customized to say whatever you want, from ILYSM to IOU, or even that one bible verse about thongs, Genesis 14:23.
… You know what pairs perfectly with a custom thong? A crossbody chicken bag. The internet is forming a cult around this lil’ cluck, and for good reason: It’s comfy, lightweight, and perfectly holds—nay, nests—your goods. We can’t wait to watch Gemini fill it up with lipgloss, nipple clamps, and The Four Agreements.
Chicken Purse (opens in a new window)
Their namesake dildo
A Gemini by any other name would not be such a stellar dual-ended dildo. I tested this luxurious Unbound Babes sex toy for VICE more than a year ago, and it hasn’t left my nighstand since. Not only does the borosilicate glass feel smooth and heavy with the kind of balanced weight that I’m always looking for in penetrative toys, but the two ends of the dildo offer various options and textures for anal and G-spot stimulation.
Gemini Dual Ended Glass Dildo (opens in a new window)
Jewelry that takes flight
Why is it so hard to find non-corny jewelry? We wrote an entire VICE guide dedicated to the task, but Collina Strada is one of our go-to brands for unique pieces that radiate a hot, slightly unhinged energy. This pair of black rhinestone butterfly earrings is what happens when a 90s lower back tattoo has a glow-up, and would be the perfect gift your Gemini. Cop them while they’re almost $20 off.
Tattoo Butterfly Earrings (opens in a new window)
Give ‘em a goddamn pizza oven
Your darling Gemini would love nothing more than to play with fire and dough in front of a captive, hungry audience. Can you blame them? The Ooni is the Bugatti of pizza ovens (we know; we tested it) and it’s 30% off for Memorial Day. If you really want to sweep them off their tuckus, pair it with the official pizza cookbook from Roberta’s, one of Brooklyn’s most iconic pizzerias. “If you cook, then you want this book. Roberta’s in Bushwick, NYC is to die for,” wrote one Amazon reviewer of the 4.5-star average rated book. “Be sure to get a good set of digital scales because you measure everything in grams.”
Roberta's (opens in a new window)
Clever tech
If there’s one thing a Gemini needs, it’s even more tricks up their sleeve. VICE editor Hilary Pollack swears by this clip-on phone/computer lens for looking hot on Zoom. “Get thee a clip-on wide-angle lens meant for amateur photography, and bring it to thy computer,” she explains in her VICE review of the Xenvo Pro lens. “The super wide angle actually makes you look farther away from your computer, which makes many of those bumps/shadows/threats of a double chin magically disappear.”
Sure feels nice knowing how to please our Gemini pals, doesn’t it? Enjoy the giggles while you can, because next month it’s time for Kleenex Cancer season.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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