Photos by Bobby Doherty
Illustrations by Johnny Ryan
I am usually a pretty heteronormative kind of guy, especially when it comes to undergarments. I buy boxers from the dollar store in packages of six and refuse to purchase additional pairs until I lose a couple, or they get so worn out and stained that it would be more hygienic to let my genitals flop around in my trousers like the Velveteen Rabbit.
Lately, however, I’ve been feeling very undesirable and wondering things like, “How come ladies and gay guys get to have all the fun and sexy undies?” Then I realized, hey, there was nothing stopping me from slipping into the leg holes of some lacy unmentionables or leather briefs with a removable codpiece.
After a bit of internet underwear research, I became very excited and treated myself to seven pairs of the most elaborate, esoteric, and erotic skivvies to ever grace my hindquarters. Over the next week, I kept a little diary of the proceedings as an intimate keepsake and rated my new underclothes on a 1-5 glitter-dong scale.
Videos by VICE
terrible THURSDAY: SLING RING STUDDED FULL BODY THONG BY APOLLOWEAR
SUNDAY: FANCY HI-CUT BY MANTIES
