Balding is an art. You have to embrace it gracefully; when in doubt, follow the lead of a few sunset-haired kings like Wallace Shawn in the 1980s or George Costanza in any phase of his life. Since most of us with hairless destinies know we cannot match this greatness, we’re forced to either accept our fate and go full Jean-Luc Picard or fight to regain what we lost. For those of us who aren’t captaining the U.S.S. Enterprise, a concierge online hair-loss clinic called Happy Head wants to lead you down the shaggy path, and the brand apparently has a powerful, new weapon at its disposal: the SuperCapsule. If there’s any greater argument for a My Dinner with Andre sequel, I’d love to hear it.
SuperCapsule (opens in a new window)
What is the SuperCapsule? Well, to get into that, we’d have to go deep into the mystic powers of finasteride and minoxidil; luckily for you, I went into great detail about those very things here (on top of providing a history of the Happy Head brand). Suffice it to say, they’re the only two hair loss compounds that have gotten FDA approval (and much support from the scientific community), and Happy Head bosses Dr. Ben Behnam and Dr. Sean Behnam have harnessed their power so that you (or at least the top of your head) can stay forever young.
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The SuperCapsule claims to be “the strongest all-in-one oral medication now available.” Speaking as someone who has historically loved taking strong oral medication, this is enticing. The capsule, using the aforementioned chemicals as well as vitamin D, aims to regrow your hair in up to six months and keep that shit poppin’ off for years to come—you just take one of these bad boys (aka pills) daily and stare in the mirror for four or five hours a day and you’ll be well on your way. In fact, doctors I predict you’ll quickly look like Sam Elliott in Road House.
If you’re trying to go from “dinner with Andre” to “professional bar fighter” in half a year (or are just curious about the journey), Happy Head is partnering with VICE to offer our balding-but-beautiful readers an exclusive discount: Enter the code VICE55 and get a hefty 55% off your order.
Check out Happy Head and the SuperCapsule here.
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