Taking aim at Gen Z’s tastebuds, Heinz has introduced spaghetti carbonara in a can. As you can imagine, Italians are furious. Heinz wants to combine the delicious flavors of one of the most well-known pasta varieties in the world with ease, convenience, and chemical preservatives.
Carbonara is a deceptively simple pasta preparation. There’s the pasta itself, of course. The fresher, the better. And then there’s eggs, a type of cured pork called guanciale, pecorino cheese, and some black pepper. (The Heinz version substitutes pancetta for guanciale, which is pretty common anyway.) The pasta gets its signature creaminess from slowly emulsifying the eggs, cheese, and pork fat in a warm—definitely not hot!—pan. If the pan is too hot, you’ll get scrambled eggs.
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It all comes together to form a symphony of flavors that are deeper and more complex than its individual components suggest. Heinz took all that delicate balancing of flavors and crammed it into a can that wastelanders will be eating with their dirty fingers in the post-apocalypse.
The Heinz version adds a few extra ingredients that are still quite homey and reminiscent of the pastas Italian grandmothers have been making for decades: pantry staples like sodium ascorbate and maltodextrin.
Chef Alessandro Pipero runs a Michelin-starred restaurant in Rome. Speaking to the Guardian, he compared Heinz’s carbonara in a can to “cat food.” Pfft! Spoken like a man who has never had a warm, comforting bowl of Chef Boyardee Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-shaped pasta after a long school day. Though, to be fair, in a later interview he said the concept was “genius.”
Alessandra de Dreuille is the “Meals Director” for Heinz. When reached for comment, she had her perfectly prepared PR spin ready to go. “Whether enjoyed as a comforting meal after a long day or shared with friends whilst catching up on the latest TV series, Heinz spaghetti carbonara is the perfect fuss-free dinner solution.” Reading that should automatically trigger a commercial jingle in your brain.
The Times of London had its food editor taste test Heinz’s carbonara and a can. Here are some choice excerpts from his brief review:
“So let’s start with the positives. The Heinz version is ready in two minutes and, I suppose you could argue, consists of just one ingredient: a tin.”
And…
“The mealy pancetta fails to lift a thin, watery, off-puttingly sweet travesty of a great Italian original.”
Seems like a hit!
So far, Heinz Spaghetti Carbonara will only be available in the UK, where it will sell for £2.
Or you could make authentic, five-ingredient carbonara yourself:
