When Arsene Wenger arrived in England to manage Arsenal, pretty much no bugger knew who he was. This, of course, was a time before the internet and Football Manager all-nighters had made us all experts on the game. So, when a man whose previous role had been at Nagoya Grampus Eight arrived in North London, most fans were understandably baffled. Who was this strange Frenchman with his bad glasses and his oddly skeletal frame? How could this Francophone economics nerd ever hope to follow in the footsteps of former Bolton boss Bruce Rioch?
What has happened since is now freely available to read about on Wikipedia. But when Arsene arrived, the online encyclopaedia was still years from going live. Liverpool had eight more league titles than Manchester United. And no one thought twice about sauntering into a newsagent, whipping a pornographic magazine off the top shelf and presenting it to the bloke at the till with a huge grin. “Liz away for the weekend, is she Gerald? You’ll enjoy that one.”
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Anyway, here’s what else was different when Wenger took the reigns.
YOU COULD GET DRUNK ON BEER FOR UNDER A TENNER
Famously, the best way to measure the passage of time is through the ever-rising price of a pint. Given the pervasive drinking culture that threatened to destroy the Arsenal squad in 1996, this becomes all the more relevant – how much were they paying for their booze?
READ MORE: Reflections on Wenger’s 20 Years at Arsenal
Some basic research reveals that you could get a pint for about £1.60 in 1996, which is roughly three times less than you’d pay now. The idea of ordering three pints, paying with a fiver and being given change is too much, but that’s what happened to the average person when they got a round in back then, or to Tony Adams and Merse when they bought their pre-training pick-me-up.
YOU COULD BUY A SERVICEABLE FOOTBALLER FOR £5 MILLION
Sure, the cost of a pint has risen sharply and that is a bollocks for us proles. But let’s be honest: Arsene Wenger hasn’t sunk a single pint in his entire life. He’s far too cerebral for beer, and have you seen how svelte he is? Arsene is a wine man, naturally.
But what he will undeniably be devastated by is the sharp rise in transfer fees we have experienced. When Wenger took over as Gunners boss, the world record transfer fee was £15 million for Alan Shearer. Today, £15m won’t even buy you half of Yannick Bolasie, which would be a messy solution that helped absolutely no one, least of all a carved-up Bolasie.
Tall, potent and handsome, here we see the pride of Newcastle. And, standing in front of it, Alan Shearer // PA Images
In recent years Arsene has bowed to convention somewhat, splashing out in excess of £40m on Mesut Ozil, and more than £30m apiece on Alexis Sanchez, Granit Xhaka and Shkodran Mustafi.
But the world record has shot to frankly ludicrous heights, with Paul Pogba costing Manchester United £89m and Wayne Rooney being paid hundreds of grand a week to lurk about a football pitch.
WE ONLY HAD FIVE CHANNELS, AND THAT WAS FINE THANKS VERY MUCH
Our TV landscape was very different when Arsene took charge at Arsenal. Now a writhing mass of soft-core pornography, twee baking shit and VICELAND (SKY channel 153 – TURN IT ON NOW), the mid-nineties were a simpler time. For one thing, you basically had to watch on a television set. Secondly, most of us had just five channels, with only a wealthy elite of city fat cats and grandparents enjoying the luxuries of Sky.
But the BBC was fine for us back then, before the bad cuts and bad sex scandals. Just look what was on BBC 1 the day Arsene took control at Highbury – The Queen’s Nose. The first episode, no less (repeated ahead of the second series being aired later in the year), with Byker Grove a little later. How high have we cranked the nostalgia here?
Yes, I know you’re at work, and this is meant to be a sports website, but why not watch an episode of this ’90s kids’ TV show with us?
Later on you could catch Neighbours – remember when Neighbours was on the BBC, when people still watched it, and the actors would come over here to do panto? On the day Arsene took up the reigns, the synopsis for Neighbours read: “Toadie suffers public humiliation.” Truly, Toadie is the Arsene Wenger of Australian soap operas: long-serving, brave, and sometimes publicly shamed.
It’s also startling to realise that Wenger was appointed so long ago that the BBC’s nightly news bulletin was on at 9pm, not 10pm. This is an epoch ago. What, Peter Sissons was presenting it? Make that a double epoch, my good man.
SPEAKING OF TV, HERE’S THE MATCH OF THE DAY INTRO FROM SHORTLY BEFORE HE ARRIVED…
Ah, the past was wonderfully low-res.
RUBBER-FACED CRICKET NERD JOHN MAJOR WAS PRIME MINISTER
But the Tories were in power and David Cameron was not an MP, so I guess some things haven’t changed much.
THE CHARTS WERE SHIT, THOUGH MAYBE SLIGHTLY LESS THAN TODAY
When Arsene became Arsenal boss, Deep Blue Something were at number one with “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”, with Fugees’ “Ready or Not” at number two. Celine Dion, Peter Andre and the Spice Girls were all in the top 10. Wenger is a famously ardent fan of Bob Marley, and generally enjoys the finer things in life, so it’s safe to assume he thinks Peter Andre is shit.
A BURNLEY FC CALENDAR LOOKED LIKE THIS
From Wikipedia: “Peter Harold Swan (born 28 September 1966) is an English former footballer who played as a defender and centre forward. In a sixteen-year professional career in the Football League he scored 62 goals in 445 games.”
So now you know.
DOLLY THE SHEEP WAS A TINY SHEEP BABY
A mere lamb at four months old, Dolly the sheep rose to prominence as the first cloned mammal (or something – consult Motherboard for actual science and tech). Alas, Dolly could not match Arsene’s longevity, passing away in February 2003. Had she lived another eight days, Dolly would have seen the Gunners beat Manchester City 5-1 at Maine Road. Knowing Dolly, she’d have loved that.
Since her death, Dolly has been preserved and housed in a museum. When Arsene’s time comes, might he be put on permanent display at the Emirates?
AND FINALLY, IN THE NEWSPAPERS…
Here’s the front page of the Guardian from 1 October 1996, confirming Neil Hamilton as a liar and a cheat after the then Tory MP dropped a libel claim against the paper. Hamilton now represents UKIP in the Welsh Assembly. Beyond the date there is no Wenger link here, but it would be remiss to not show this front page, wouldn’t it?
Anyway, well done on the anniversary, Arsene, and here’s to another 20 years. Who knows what kind of awful, catastrophic things will have happened to our country and indeed the world when the time comes to write another of these.
