How to Last Longer in Bed, According to Male Porn Stars

Thanks to cheap sitcom jokes, the marathon power poundings of porn, and a host of other cultural and societal pressures, many men worry about not lasting long enough in bed. Lasting as long as Kanye West, they learn, is a perquisite for good sex and self-respect. Popping off too early is visceral proof they cannot please a partner or live up to the expectations of masculinity. Nobody wants no One Minute Man, after all.

In truth, most men shouldn’t worry about their sexual endurance. The consensus opinion among sex therapists seems to be that most heterosexual couples think seven-to-13 minutes of pure penile-vaginal penetration is desirable, but that three to seven minutes is completely adequate. Meanwhile, studies of human sexual behavior have found that the average man can thrust for about five-and-a-half minutes before climax; few last over twelve minutes. (Data on non-hetero sexual desires and performance is, unfortunately, harder to come by.) It should also by now be common knowledge that ample foreplay is often far more important for a good sexual encounter than a long slog of pure pumping. In fact, for a number of women, more than ten minutes of pure jackhammer action is just too much. All too often, porn sex isn’t something to emulate. It’s something to dread.

But at some point in their lives at least a third of men suffer from premature ejaculation, regularly finishing within one minute of penetrative sex to their distress. More suffer from rapid ejaculation, in which they cum faster than it takes them or their partner to feel satisfied. Culturally exaggerated expectations for how long penetrative sex should last mean even men who can hold out for a definitively respectable amount of time still feel legitimate distress about their endurance.

While some men say they can solve this by just using a condom to reduce sensitivity, this doesn’t seem to work for everyone, and may be otherwise physically highly undesirable for some couples. Other chemical solutions, like SSRI antidepressants or Lidocaine-based sprays and wipes, can truly help men mellow out their penile sensations and last longer and feel better in their sex lives. But both can have unpleasant side effects. Because these “silver bullets” just aren’t right for everyone, there’s a real need out there for practical tricks to help truly worried men last longer in bed.

Fortunately for men worried about their sexual staying power, one profession has lasting longer down to a science: male porn stars. Shoots often require them, says three-year industry veteran Johnny Goodluck, to thrust for at least 30 minutes, but at times upwards of three hours. Some stars, like Steven Holmes, a pro with over two decades of experience, say that just comes naturally to them. Many more, though, like 16-year veteran Aaron “Small Hands” Thompson, say they don’t last nearly as long in their everyday lives; his wife, he insists, can attest to that. Plenty admit they often feel like they’re going to blow long before a scene is supposed to end. “Most of my working days are spent desperately trying not to cum while maintaining the façade that I am a sex Olympian,” says six-year veteran Logan Pierce. And a few, like 17-year veteran Dick Chibbles, acknowledge that in the past they dealt with rapid ejaculation as well.

Granted, several porn stars acknowledge they can last longer on camera than in real life because porn sets are often not actually all that sexy. “When you have a crew asking for directions, and the acrobatics of the scene itself,” says 10-year veteran Ryan Driller, “most of the time, there are things that are much easier to distract yourself with than you would have in your personal life.” Some stars use chemical performance enhancers as well to make sure they can perform; if they can’t reliably do so, they won’t last long in the field. Most, though, have spent their careers developing and practicing a number of mental and physical techniques to help themselves last.

Not all of their advice is revolutionary. Much of it is similar to what a sex therapist, or a men’s health magazine, would tell you. Some of their techniques take time and discipline to master. They may not all work for every man as well, as all of our bodies are a little different. But they all transfer well from porn sex to real life sex; Driller thinks they might even be easier and work better in everyday fucking, as a couple can focus entirely on each other rather than get hemmed in by what a camera wants from them. So in the end, Goodluck stresses, “Any guy can do some training and self-experimenting to make themselves more formidable in bed.”

To help men who feel deeply distressed about their sexual endurance do just that, VICE recently asked Chibbles, Driller, Goodluck, Thompson, and Pierce to share their best tricks for holding out when they think they’re about to blow before they need or want to. Below are their insights.

Logan Pierce

If I feel like I’m going to pop too soon, I’ll try and project my mind somewhere else, somewhere unbelievably dull and boring. Sometimes I’ll break down the moment in my head: This tile floor is uncomfortable. My tailbone is probably bruised. I wonder how long we’ve been in this position. My back is sweaty and keeps making those wet smacking sounds every time I thrust.

If I can’t distract myself, I just take the attention off of me and focus on my partner, go down on them for a little bit and catch my breath. Take a break [from the thrusting]. Have a drink.

There really isn’t any secret to lasting longer. Just practice. Practice, practice, practice.

Dick Chibbles

Communication is key. Let your partner know how you feel and if what they’re doing to you feels too intense. What most male talent does, is if we’re close and, say, the girl is riding on top of us, we’ll give a little tap on their leg where the camera can’t see. That’s saying: “Hey, change it up a little. You’re getting me close and we’ve still got another 45 minutes to fuck here.”

Don’t be afraid to actually express any concerns about not lasting long enough. If your partner is into you, she’ll do what a girlfriend of mine did so many years ago: [help you and actually communicate in turn]. Who knows, maybe she’ll change your life, too.

I also use a breathing technique I’ve developed over the years to keep my concentration and almost mute the sensation on my penis. I focus more on the sound of my breathing. The increased oxygen flow increases my erection’s firmness and keeps me in control of my body.

Another thing I do when I’m close is tug my testicles down. They usually start further from the body in sex, and the closer you get to ejaculation, the tighter they get to your body. I find that if I tug them down, kind of stretch them a bit, it resets how much time I have left. I know it sounds funny, but hey, try it sometime and you might be surprised to see it works.

Also, for god’s sake, gentlemen, go down on your partners! Learn their bodies. Give them the gift of ecstasy before they even get in your pants. At least if you end up not lasting long, you know you’ve satisfied them. That, in turn, will build your confidence and help you last longer.

Johnny Goodluck

Male kegels. Men have pelvic floor muscles. They’re the same ones you use to stop the stream of urine. Most men recognize a clench that can do that midstream. The secret to being able to hold your load is the endurance of these muscles. If they’re fit, you can keep yourself from ejaculating as long as you need to. There are ways of working them out, like any other muscles.

You can practice male kegels while masturbating, or with a partner. There is a good good book out there, Male Pelvic Fitness, that explains these muscles. You can also easily Google a good workout routine for them. It’s all easy to find information. Most men just don’t know about it.

Also some people, myself included, have certain positions in which it’s easier to keep it together, or that induce climax. Knowing your body and what your strong positions are is crucial. You have to want to learn yourself and practice a lot, though. But you can have fun with it! Next time you have some alone time or are comfortable playing with a partner, try seeing how long you can hold it. If you feel it coming on, stop, reset, then continue. Maybe try a different position.

Aaron Thompson

First thing I do if I feel like I’m going to cum too soon is to find a place for my face to hide, not in the direction of the shot of course. Then I bite my cheek or finger. Hard. Like really hard. Usually, the jolt of pain will dial down my erection a bit and I can sort of re-center myself.

Ryan Driller

I focus on the girl or girls I’m having sex with, on their enjoyment over mine. If you’re focusing on her pleasure and helping get her off, you probably won’t even notice what you’re feeling. The best part is, she’ll really want to reciprocate afterwards. So it’s a total win-win for you.

If you’re getting too close, then change up your positions, angle, and tempo. Make the sex feel totally different. If it’s still too much, jump off and start eating her out. Leave your cock alone.

A lot of the time, for scenes, we’re also using lube a lot, since we’re fucking way longer than most people. Too much lube can work as a buffer and kind of a numbing agent. Not like an actual anesthetic, but kind of like a glove. So that can help to prolong ejaculation.

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