How To Make A Thanksgiving Feast With Matty Matheson

Welcome to the world of Thanksgiving! In the latest How-To, Matty Matheson shows us how to make a proper traditional Thanksgiving feast.

Did you know that the biggest problem in the world is that motherfuckers don’t know how to cook a turkey? We’re not gonna stuff the bird because that increases cooking time and the stuffing comes out like a sponge. We’re not gonna deep fry the bird. We’re not going to stuff a duck up its ass, and we’re not even going to brine the turkey. What we are going to do is put some fresh herbs in the cavity and cover it in salt, that’s it—it’s that easy guys!

Obviously no feast is complete without fixin’s, so Matty is also going to show us how to make casserole stuffing, cream cheese mashed potatoes, maple syrup-roasted carrots with pistachios, roasted brussels sprouts with bacon, sweet potato and butternut squash mash, creamed corn, gravy, and cranberry sauce. You’re welcome!

Fuck with that turkey, trolls! Thanks to Thanksgiving, world peace!

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Recipes

No-Brine Turkey (11 lbs.):

Take the turkey out of the bag. stick your hand into the cavity of the turkey and take out the offal, i.e. heart, neck, gizzards, kidneys
Pat the turkey dry with a towel, heavily season the turkey with kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper
Pre-set oven to 450° F
Stuff turkey with 1 lemon cut in half, a few sprigs of thyme, parsley and sage, throw some garlic cloves in there as well
Place turkey in a large roasting pan add some chicken stock to the pan and the turkey neck roast for 2 hrs. or so. make sure to check every half hour and on the last 45 mins turn down to 325° F to finish with a lower heat so its nice and moist. also baste the turkey with the chicken stock in the pan
Take the turkey out and let rest for at least 15 mins to make sure all the juices chill out and it doesn’t “bleed out” when you slice it

Apple Cider-Roasted Carrots with Ricotta and Pistachios:

Peel and cut 6 large carrots and cut into pieces
Place into the roasting pan
Add a few tablespoons of butter
Pour 1/5 cup of apple cider on the carrots
Add 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
Add 4 tablespoons maple syrup
Roast for 20–30 min at 450°F until deep brown and glazed from sauce
Once you pull them out of oven, place on serving platter and add the ricotta and chopped pistachios
You could add some mint as well
And finally, hit it with some fresh cracked pepper

Bacon Brussel Sprouts

2lbs of brussels sprouts
Cut bacon into thumbnail-sized pieces and render until crispy in a heavy-bottom pan
Cut the brussels sprouts in half
Mix in the brussels sprouts with the bacon
Roast for 10-15 min at 450° until golden brown
Once done, squeeze some orange juice over them

Twice-Baked Cream Cheese Mashed Potatoes

Peel 6-8 large Yukon gold potatoes
Add them to a large pot in cold water
Add 3 tablespoons of kosher salt
Bring to a boil then simmer till fork tender
Strain potatoes, let steam for 3 mins to get any excess water off them
Add to mixing bowl, add half a bar of cream cheese and half pound of unsalted butter
Whip in a mixer until soft and silky add more salt if needed
Pour into a baking dish and bake for 15-20 mins at 450° until golden brown

Sweet Potato and Butternut Squash Mash

3 medium-sized sweet potatoes
Half of a butternut squash
Cut sweet potato, butternut squash and 2 Yukon gold potatoes into large cubes and place into large pot in cold salted water
Bring to a boil, let simmer until fork tender
Strain and let steam same as the potatoes
Mix in the stand mixer, and add the butter, poultry seasoning, salt, and cinnamon to taste
Pour into baking dish and bake for 20-30 min at 450° until golden brown

Creamed Corn

5 cups frozen corn
Cut onions into small dice, add to a med-sized sauce pan with 5 tablespoons of butter and cook until translucent
Add frozen corn and add 6 tablespoons of maple syrup, add heavy cream not covering the corn
bring to a boil and simmer for 20 mins
blend until blended nicely add more maple syrup or salt if needed

Stuffing

Half a loaf of 3-4 loaf of white bread
Dice onions and celery and cook until translucent in 1 lbs of unsalted butter, add 1 litre of chicken stock and 4 tablespoons of poultry seasoning
Cut white bread into cubes and layer bread in a casserole dish, pour butter onions and celery mixture over bread, layer stuffing until full. Make sure to add enough that it is not dry and still not soupy. You just want it wet enough to bake and brown and still be moist in the centre, roughly 45 min – 1hour at 450°

Cranberry Sauce