Time waits for nobody, and that counts extra for world-class athletes—especially ones whose legacy depends on a tournament that happens every four years. Look no further than Ronaldinho. In 2005, he was not a man, he was a blur; cutting, dancing, spinning, smiling, scoring. The guy was as much a human as he was the physical embodiment of celebration. He won back-to-back Ballon d’Orawards in 2004-2005, became Nike’s No. 1 man, and featured on the cover of EA Sports’ extremely popular FIFA Soccer franchise five times. Kids all over the world threw away their retainers and refused braces so they could emulate his buck-toothed grin.
Huge expectations were heaped upon his shoulders prior to the 2006 World Cup, as he was the best player on Brazil, the best team. Playing with Kaka, (pre-Fat) Ronaldo and Adriano, he was the capstone to the foursome known as the “magic quartet,” and everybody and their llama expected him to light the world on fire, as was his custom.
Videos by VICE
Unfortunately, Brazil limped to a disappointing fifth place finish as Ronaldinho went scoreless with one assist. Back home, the Brazil that once adored him instead destroyed a 23-foot statue that was erected in 2004 to commemorate his 2004 Player of the Year Award. The country was further incensed by the fact that Ronaldinho and his buddy Adriano spent that same day hosting a sprawling party at his mansion in Barcelona that continued into the sun-drenched hours at a local nightclub.
Injuries began chipping away at his abilities, and instead of hustling hard to return to the form that made him the most feared player in the world, he spent his downtime getting fat and partying. Vicious rumors about his overindulgences of sex and Playstation started making the rounds and while he was getting fat and laid, a teammate of his on Barcelona with moves on top of dizzying moves named Lionel Messi started stealing his thunder.
After a mutual falling out at Barca, he signed with AC Milan in an attempt at rejuvenating his career. He was left off Brazil’s 2010 World Cup roster and, well, when’s the last time you thought about the supernova that is Ronaldinho?
At one point, time was on Ronaldinho’s side. Most would say he blew it. On the horizon is the 2014 World Cup, full of players who can make or break their legacies, here are ten with the most on the line.
WAYNE ROONEY, ENGLAND
Manchester United’s Wayne “Wazz” Rooney and his head full of transplanted hair have been England’s pride, joy, and co-whipping boy (with Becks) ever since he stepped onto the national stage in 2003 at the tender age of 17. The 5’9″ 172 pound star striker has since led Manchester United to five Premier League championships. But that will mean nothing if he continues his custom of never scoring goals in World Cup games, ever.
In 2006, a 21-year-old Rooney suffered a foot injury that jeopardized his chances of playing for country at the World Cup in Germany. He did, and that was most definitely the wrong decision. Rooney labored up and down the pitch, frustrated and angry at his inability to play at the level he was accustomed.That problem didn’t last for long after he let his anger boil over in a scuffle with Portugal’s Ricardo Carvalho that involved Rooney crotch stomping Carvalho and a red card—probably the wrong thing to do.
England lost on penalty kicks then, and 2010 was about as bad—even though it was a crotch-stomp-free affair.
In the present moment, Rooney is 28-years-old. It will be the last time he plays for England in a World Cup in the prime of his career. If he flames out one more time, so does his legacy. Pele believes in him. Jose Mourinho thinks he can take the World Cup by storm, but also thinks it’s Rooney’s last year to shine.It boils down to this: Will Rooney be regarded as one of England’s most beloved superstars, spoken about for generations to come as a player revered and loved, cherished and adored? Or will he just be a run-of-the-mill disappointment; a false idol who let his partying and lack of fitness ruin his chances of bringing England football glory? We’ll know soon enough.
MARIO BALOTELLI, ITALY
If there were a hot head of the year award, there would only be one candidate: Balotelli. This is a guy with talent that rivals that of the Nerdluck in Space Jam who robbed Charles Barkley of his mojo. The only problem is he defines the term “batshit insane.” Actually, they should probably make up some new words for how out of control he gets. Temperamental (he fought the Italyian equivalent to Ryan Seacrest at a club in January) and inconsistent are traits that go hand-in-hand, and Mario’s got that bad. No one seems to like him, either, and he’s got a victim complex, too.There’s a reason Ciro Immobile will most likely start instead of Balotelli on Saturday in Italy’s first match against England, and it’s not because he’s better, Immobile controls himself.
Mario gets into a lot of trouble off of the pitch. On the pitch he’s just as much of a headache, if not more. He may be the most talented player in soccer, but he rarely puts it all together. You could probably set your watch to the way he disappears In big games. His problems exacerbate if he’s playing poorly, though, and he’ll sulk for weeks and attack his managers in the press if he gets pulled early. Catch-22.
It’s clear an attitude adjustment is in order. Though he’s a 23-year-old super-prodigy who hasn’t even come close to reaching his full potential, with the ability to turn soccer balls into laser beams combined with a sorcerer’s touch and a body most people would sell their souls for, rumors abound that he’ll start the World Cup sitting on his ass. Though that should be surprising news regarding his talent, it isn’t because he’s a head case and he can’t keep it off the pitch.
CLINT DEMPSEY, USMNT
Unless you’ve been living under a rock without wi-fi, you know that Landon Donovan has been left off the 2014 USNT roster, something that hasn’t happened since 1998. This puts most of the attention on the USMNT’s second-most-recognizable face, The Captain, Clint Dempsey. At 31-years-old, this is probably his last World Cup as Jürgen Klinsmann‘s youth movement is only just beginning. Which is too bad, because if the US cared about the USMNT as the rest of the world does about their teams, Bruce Springsteen would be writing whole albums about Clint.
Dude is tough as nails. In 2004 he played two games with a broken jaw. He loves scoring goals in the scariest ways possible, like diving headfirst in crowded situations on the off chance he heads a ball in—that’s a pretty good way to break your neck. Human instinct is to slow down and protect one’s self when presented with a situation that could result in injury. Few possess the ability to conquer that natural instinct and go full bore into definite pain and torment, but Dempsey is one of those guys. The real question about Clint in this year’s tournament is whether he’ll break or brake.
DIDIER DROGBA, IVORY COAST
This is Drogba’s last chance. The Ivory Coast is insane about their “Elephants”, and the talent teams they’ve assembled the past eight years have yielded little to no reward. They’ve failed to advance past the “knockout” round each tournament and are seen as chokers by their countrymen. This is Drogba’s last chance to shake that.
Drogba is their best player and central striker, even at 36. He’s been there for his country since their first ever appearance at the World Cup, in Germany in 2006. Seeded into that year’s “Group of Death”, Ivory Coast won once and lost twice and quickly went home. In 2010, he endured the misfortune of breaking his arm in a friendly against Japan and wore a cast while playing in South Africa. Hampered by the injury, they failed to get out of their group again.
Drobga is probably the best from Côte d’Ivoire, but merely getting to the knockout rounds would cement it. He’s twice been named African Footballer of the Year, and his achievements for his country go beyond the pitch: The dude ended a civil war!These are all tremendous things, but it’s not World Cup glory.
Will he continue playing at the high level he’s been doing for most of his career or will father time wipe away his abilities right when he needs them most? It’s his last shot, and his nation is waiting with baited breath.
NEYMAR, BRAZIL
For a team that always carries outsized expectations, those expectations are only intensified when they are also the host nation. That makes things tougher for the team’s best player, and this year, the honor belongs to Neymar.
How much does he mean to Brazil’s chances? Well, just this week, Neymar went down clutching his ankle during a training session that caused a national panic as Brazilians wailed over the fact that their World Cup chances had been dashed before the tournament had even started.
Luckily for Brazil, it was a false alarm and he was able to walk it off and continue scrimmaging after a bit of treatment.
How good is Neymar? Why don’t we let Pele explain: “Now everyone is talking about Messi; he is a star. But to be the best ever he must first become better than Neymar. At the moment Messi is just more experienced.”That’s some high praise from, you know, the best ever.
This will be Neymar’s first World Cup, and he gets to play it on his home soil. If he does well, he’ll be treated like a God whenever he returns home. If he does poorly, well, lets just hope for his sake he doesn’t.
LUIS SUAREZ, URUGUAY
Yes, he bite someone. Yes, he bite someone else. And yes, he does not get along with Patrice Evra and it’s concerning. But the goals! So many goals. If you’re looking for his highlight reel you’re going to find it sitting next to stuff entitled, “Luis Suarez’s Top 5 Crazy Moments”, “Top 5 Most Hated Footballers”, “Top 10 Dirtiest Footballers”, “10 Most Shocking Moments in Football History” and, well, you get the drift. Those videos are a little dated now. At 27, Suarez seems to have finally put his petty freak-outs and alligator chomps behind him. Most of us go through that ‘angry young man/woman’ phase; his just happened on a slightly bigger stage.
Let’s return to the goals. Explosive goals, clever goals, goals that confuse you, goals that are so good you forget to read what he wrote on his undershirt (it was a message for his new baby, btw). When his foot connects on a shot, it’s more thunderbolt than round projectile. I’m pretty sure some of his balls have a trail. You feel bad for the goalies who end up looking foolish.
Suarez is in his prime for a very powerful Uruguay squad that will need him at 100% if they want to take home hardware. They may only get 90% as he fights to get his form back after suffering a left knee injury that required “keyhole surgery,” which must be some European concoction that Tracy McGrady should’ve looked into. Suarez has been doing “triple shifts” in practice in order to ensure he’s ready to play, though he’s been doing his exercises on his own, separate from his squad. We’ll see if his claims of readiness are valid soon enough.
ROBIN van PERSIE, NETHERLANDS
Most children borne of two artists do not become world-class strikers, and Robin van Persie was not most children. He’s turned his body into a piece of art instead, a flailing tornado of churning arms and legs, able to manipulate the ball in such a way that leaves defenders grasping for nothing, over and over and over again. When the ball’s on his foot, it stays on his foot. Dude can dance like Travolta and kick like a destroyer of worlds. But he’s so injury prone, he makes Grant Hill look like Cal Ripken.
He’s already run into some trouble since getting to Brazil after a kite-surfer collided with him. Some people get injured a lot, for any number of reasons: poor conditioning, bad luck, general clumsiness, lack of awareness, knobby knees, too much effort (LeBron), too little, being Greg Oden, too fat, too skinny, too tall, bad fundamentals. RVP has a couple of those, but which are unknown. After being taken off the pitch at the half of an exhibition because of a groin twinge, he later said that he hasn’t played without feeling pain or discomfort somewhere in the last six years.
When healthy, he is otherworldly. In only 28 appearances across all competitions for Man-U this past season, he still netted 18 goals. But he says his groin is fine, that the knee injury that limited his field-time in the Premier League is fine, that the pain he constantly feels isn’t an issue, that he’s 100%. At 30, this is probably the last trip he makes as a Dutch player. If he stays upright, he will do some damage. If his body fails him, the Netherlands might be bounced in the Group stage.
Eden Hazard, BELGIUM
If you like watching water bugs skittering around a shallow creek, you’re going to really like watching midfielder Eden Hazard skitter around defenders at a breakneck pace of fits, starts and full-out sprints. There’s a reason his highlight videos always include desperate opponents resorting to trying to tackle him like Ray Lewis would. If you can’t stop him, pull him down and hope he doesn’t get up. There aren’t too many soccer players who make you question whether actual magnetism is being deployed that allows them to essentially play DDR on the field, control the ball, the defender, and where the ball is going (it’s Belgium’s goal, you should know). Is Hazard Magento? They’ve never been photographed together, so.
At only 23-years-old, a good World Cup can elevate his status to Messi- and (Cristiano) Ronaldo-levels of reverence and idolatry, even if Belgian legends don’t appreciate how he dogs it sometimes, but the concerns carry weight (when Jose Mourinho says you fucked up in a Champions League semi-final, you fucked up in a Champions League semi-final), and if Eden wants to play in 2018 and 2022, he’d better get his act together.
There are 12 other Premier Leaguers on this year’s Belgium squad and they’ll be looking to wreak some havoc in Brazil, but they’ll probably only go as far as Hazard takes them. All else fails, Eden’s brother Thorgan will be ready by 2018.
LIONEL MESSI, ARGENTINA
Not to get all Verbal Klint here, but I don’t believe in the supernatural, I believe in Lionel Messi. How does a man that small do the things that he does? Opponents turn into safety cones of little concern as he flies on by, wondering which of his millions of moves his body will naturally produce to defeat the final safety cone shaking in his boots wearing the wrong colors. And then, WOOMF, a tiny leg has uncorked itself and now what was once a ball is now a unidentified flying object that, just as quickly, has transformed itself back into a ball that is now careening around the goalposts, frantically trying to rid itself of the kinetic energy Messi has inflicted upon the helpless sphere.
He’s Allen Iverson tough—the highest level of toughness—absolutely refusing to dive. Opponents scratch and claw and push and punch and Messi just doesn’t care. Lionel Messi never dives.
Don’t get it twisted though, Messi’s a mortal—his kryptonite is puking. Alas, with the title of “best player in the world” also comes the old pressure cooker named extreme expectations that can turn even the most powerful man (in this case, Messi) into a dude dry-heaving in agony as he’s enveloped by nerves, anxiety, and a sudden message from his bowels that a toilet will be necessary, and soon.
In his two prior World Cup appearances, Argentina failed to advance past the quarterfinals and he’s mustered only one goal. The fact is, until Messi brings home a World Cup, Argentina will always see him as a lesser son, no matter how transcendent he plays. Time to change the conversation, Lionel.
CRISTIANO RONALDO, PORTUGAL
It’s extremely unfair that the most talented player in the world also gets to be the prettiest, but that’s what happens when you win the genetic lottery. And with great talent and fortune grows ego—save Siddhartha. Ronaldo most definitely considers himself the king of the galaxy. And he’s so good, the argument isn’t that hard to accept. His ego might put off some (keep your shirt on, bruh), but when you can run like a gazelle with an invincibility mode activated, flick 40 yard passes that curve around the toes of defenders and rest gently at the feet of a surprised teammate who just realized he scored a goal, and then calmly jog away like it’s all so blasé, you can have a bit of an ego. There’s a reason his buy-out fee from Real Madrid is one billion dollars. Not a typo.
If Lionel Messi is Allen Iverson, Cristiano Ronaldo is a dude from the And1 Mixtape tour. His feet can do things with a ball that make the viewer laugh at the absurdity of it all. He makes the beautiful game gorgeous all the while maintaining his status as the most-hated player in the world, and that might even extend to his teams. When he scores, and he will probably score, notice how, more often than not, he celebrates alone.
Ronaldo has had his share of World Cup moments so far, even though Portugal has not advanced beyond the semi-finals with him around. In 2006, he goaded a referee into showing Wayne Rooney a red card and proceeded to wink at his own bench. The 2010 Cup was a frustrating experience for Ronaldo, as fans chanted his rival Messi’s name every time Ronaldo touched the ball. He seemed to let the chants get in his head and affect his game.
After the game, he had this to say:
“Do you know what Messi was doing this time last year? He was going out of the Copa America in his home country. That’s worse, is it not? And people say that he is the best player in the world. This sort of thing is normal for great players.”
You know what, England? I can see it.
