How Do Gen Z Parents Raise Their Kids?

Plenty of things might come to mind when you hear “Gen Z.” Maybe you’ve heard they don’t dream of labor. That they love to hate millennials. That they’re the loneliest generation, or the queerest. In any case, it’s difficult to not imagine them as kids.

But the generation that grew up with the internet, worsening climate change, and a pandemic, among other perspective-shaping events, has indeed grown up. In fact, they’re now having children of their own—and just like how they’re changing the conversations around work, religion, social media, fashion, and mental health, so too are they changing the practice of parenting. 

Below, VICE asked Gen Z parents (and expecting parents) from the Philippines how they’re raising their kids—from their takes on education, gender, and screen time to what they learned not to do from their own parents. 

Via and her millennial partner Jorrel raise their 2-year-old son Jadon together.

VICE: How much screen time do you let Jadon have?     
Via: Coming into parenthood, we always told ourselves we wouldn’t let Jadon have any screen time, but that was an unrealistic expectation. Before he turned 2 years old, we didn’t expose him to any of it, but now that he’s a bit older he’s enthralled by the digital world. We use screen time as downtime for him and limit it to one hour per day. It also helps with our sanity as parents when we want to have a proper meal in peace. Every parent is different and I respect each way, but this is just what works for us.

What kind of job do you want Jadon to have when he grows up?
In a Filipino household, you typically hear older parents say they want you to become a doctor or a lawyer but in today's day and age, there are so many things he can explore. As lame as it sounds, our son can be whoever he wants for as long as it makes him happy. 

What’s the best thing about being a young parent?  
Being a parent is a lot of work. It’s physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, but I think the best thing about being a young parent is that there’s less of an age gap [between us and our son], so we can keep up. I love that we get to tap into our inner child all over again and experience simple things we used to love through our son’s eyes. 

Daniella is a single mom to 5-year-old Lucas.

What’s one thing your parents did while raising you that you want to do differently with Lucas?
Daniella: As Filipinos, we are somewhat molded to be obedient and agreeable because disagreeing is seen as disrespectful. While I do think it’s important to respect our elders, I also believe that respect should be mutual. So at any point we feel disrespected, we should be able to voice out why. There is great value and freedom in knowing what you are willing to allow in your life and what you’re not. So from an early age, I want [Lucas] to have a strong foundation of his boundaries and be able to freely express what serves him, what doesn’t, and to understand why.

What’s your take on gender? 
I don’t think that I’m raising my son to be conventionally masculine. It’s more of fostering an open and safe space for my child. I allow him to explore what he wants so that he always feels safe coming to me about anything that might feel confusing for him. I love my son for who he is, not for what I expect him to be.

Do you raise Lucas with a certain religion? 
I grew up Catholic and went to a Catholic school all my life. My grandparents are also very religious and they made it a point to leave Jesus in our hearts, so I do believe in Catholicism. But I’ve also grown to not always agree with everything the Church has taught. What stuck with me is having faith in a higher being. It’s comforting to know that through the good and the bad, there is always someone watching out for you and someone that has a plan for you. Coming from a Catholic background, that’s really the only religion I can impart to my kid, but if he feels like he resonates [with] or enjoys another religion more, then I’m open to letting him explore that and to learn from him.

Lukas and Dani are expecting their first child in late July or early August.

What's one thing your parents did while raising you that you either want to copy or do differently while raising your child?
Lukas: My parents always expressed that they will always be there for me and support the growth of my own family. They focused their attention on my talents, which was sports, at a young age, and let me understand that in life you will always need a team behind you—a support system. My hope is for our daughter to understand that I will always be there for her throughout every stage in life—to support her, guide her, travel with her, and teach her that there is so much life has to offer us.

Dani: I noticed that my parents were sort of child-centric, meaning they prioritized me more than anything, which I am definitely thankful for. But they did give up a lot of things to raise me and keep me happy. Now that I’m older and have my own little family, I realize now that my parents deserved to give themselves more attention as individuals and as a couple, especially when they were younger.  With that, I want to make sure I balance doing things for myself and my family, not one over the other.

What kind of school will you send your child to?
Dani: School sucks. Just kidding. School is necessary, not only for the academics, but for the discipline, social skills, and character-building a kid learns when studying in an institution, around other kids. That being said, we want our daughter to be exposed to traditional schooling first, meaning under an educational system with teachers and classmates. Then maybe later on, to a specialized school in her desired field. 

What are you most excited about?
Dani: I can’t wait to be by our daughter’s side to experience this beautiful, crazy life. 

Lukas: I am so excited for this new chapter in our lives, and can’t wait to show our little one the world. 

Interviews have been edited for length and clarity. 

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