We Asked Catholic School Kids About the Most Backwards Shit They Witnessed

Ahhh, Catholic schools.

They either leave you holier than you were when you went in, or you emerge feral, traumatised, with 40 per cent of your brain rotted to goo.

In my case, it was the latter.

Morning uniform checks, teachers replacing the curriculum with mindless, religious ranting and the general perversion of students’ business – nothing says “God’s strongest soldier” quite like being taught Pythagoras Theorem by misogynists, racists and pedophiles.

That’s not to say that all Catholic schooling in Australia is bad, nor that all Catholic school kids have had bad experiences. Much of the cooked shit happens case by case, but there is a general understanding of Catholic education and what you will be taught.

Attending Catholic school and learning anything is a win in itself. But often the personal opinions and radical ideologies harboured there – from homosexuality is a sin, to abortion will land you in hell, to microaggressive school rules and being labelled promiscuous because your skirt falls a centimetre above your knee – there are some obvious, harmful flaws to Australia’s Catholic school ecosystem.

And there’s far more below the surface.

We asked people who attended Catholic schools in Australia about the most messed up shit they witnessed there.

VICE: What’s the most fucked up thing that happened at your Catholic school?

“I told my religion teacher that I didn’t feel comfortable doing the class prayer because I was Muslim. He refused to let the class start until I did.”

– Deniz, 25

“My school made me cover my taulima (traditional Samoan tattoo) and when I didn’t have a wrap to cover it, they made me use toilet paper.” 

– Anastasia, 24

“Priests living on campus got caught and done for touching young boys.”

– Tuakore, 24

“A religion teacher at my school was a former psychiatrist who was barred from practising conversion therapy. The same teacher made my sister’s class stand up and debate whether abortion was right or wrong in year 10. In year 7 religion class, he told someone their legs were different lengths and that he could perform a prayer ritual to make them the same length.”

– Verity, 25

“Someone in religion class said people who commit suicide are “weak” and the teacher agreed.”

– Dwight, 25

“At my Catholic school, the uniform rules were insanely strict – your dress had to go over your kneecaps. One day we had to do a practice evacuation and I was sitting on the floor with my legs crossed and my skirt in between my legs, so you could see my legs. This young teacher came up to me and said ‘Can you get up and stop showing your legs like that? You might distract the male teachers’. I responded: ‘A 17-year-old’s legs are gonna turn on the male teachers???’” 

– Virginia, 25

“We had a science teacher who took a two-week holiday and returned to school super skinny-looking. When questioned she said it was a good diet. Later she admitted she spent the entire holidays doing crack with her boyfriend in an apartment.

“That same teacher slept with a student in an older grade, the student’s girlfriend who was in my grade found out and black-mailed that teacher into paying for an abortion she was previously planning on getting.

“Some of these are rumours, but they’re more than likely true.

“The school also taught us fuck all about sex, no classes on how to use a condom or practise safe sex. Those classes were just: ‘Don’t have sex, do your own research if you are gonna have sex’.”

– Jessie*, 22

“In bible class, we were put into groups to make a PowerPoint presentation on whether being gay was sinful. I knew at least a couple of guys who were gay/bi (and a couple more in that class who have come out since) who had to sit through it while a lot of the religious kids argued about why being gay was sinful and against God’s creation.

“I didn’t say anything, to be honest. I felt bad for the guys at the time but now I realise that it was really just horrible bigotry and mental abuse in the classroom. I think you’ve failed as a school with things like that.”

– Ethan, 24

“One time my year coordinator walked into my class with the Vice Principal to see my braids because I had beads in them (wooden not coloured). They didn’t acknowledge my teacher, just walked in and started inspecting my hair, whispered to each other then left.”

– Tah, 20

“It was after my time, but my school was under investigation for students participating in the ‘George Floyd Challenge’. I’m not sure what the outcome beyond suspension was.”

– Eden*, 26

“Was sat in a room full of students and the Vice Principal made the kids he thought wouldn’t succeed in life stand up.”

– Oli, 24 

“Suspended hella times for having a clean fade.”

– Pete*, 25 

“We couldn’t have braids, certain haircuts. Because of this, I used to do detention on the weekends with my uniform on with the principal. Strict for no fucking reason.”

– Dean*, 31

“Gay marriage was a part of the curriculum and I essentially had to write in opposition to my queerness for a whole grade. I had to write essays, reference scripture and denounce homosexuality. The gay marriage plebiscite was topical at the time and you don’t have to dig very deep to see what was going on there. I couldn’t dodge it, it was part of my ATAR.”

– Miles*, 25

*some names changed for anonymity. 

Adele is the Junior Writer & Producer for VICE AU/NZ. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter here.