We Can’t Wait to Watch Martha Stewart Destroy Contestants on ‘Chopped’

Excellent news! Martha Stewart will be joining Food Network’s wildly popular series Chopped, Variety reported on Tuesday evening.

“The returning iconic competition series ups the ante this year, when the one-and-only Martha Stewart joins the cast as a judge, bringing her food expertise, impeccable credentials and discerning critique to the judges’ table,” a statement from Discovery, which has recently acquired Scripps, read.

Stewart has served as a guest judge on Chopped Junior once before, in 2016. There is, conveniently, very little information available about what Stewart’s exact role on the show will be as of writing. It isn’t even clear if she’ll be taking a seat at the judge’s table and replacing one of the current judges regularly, though that seems to be the statement’s implication. Discovery did not respond to immediate request for further comment from MUNCHIES on Thursday.

In the absence of anything resembling clarity around what the hell she’ll be doing on the show, please, let your mind run wild with imagining the scathing critiques Stewart will dole out to poor chefs working under immense amounts of pressure.

I mean, sweet Jesus! Stewart almost always makes for perfect television. Please revisit her disastrous 1999 Halloween special, which plays out like a discarded episode of Passions.

Or just plunge down the rabbit hole of her unsuccessful version of The Apprentice.

“What the heck are girls walking around in Dutch outfits selling tulips—what do they have to do with the brand?” she chides contestants in one delightfully merciless takedown.

Please… give us more iconic quotes like this, Martha. I’m waiting.