Can crushers have a bad reputation. Many will associate the tool with drunk frat dudes crushing hundreds of cans a night to mitigate the apocalyptic trail of can waste they leave behind them when they party, or maybe you think of can crushers as something used mainly by summer camps and sports bars. Either way, I’d like to make the case that can crushers are important, and the people who use them are actually universe-brained environmental visionaries, single handedly fighting to take our world back from the era of global boiling. At the very least, they’re creating more space in their recycling bins, which ultimately lets you have to walk out the alley less frequently—itself a noble goal.
It’s not my job to convince you that recycling is good—you should probably already be doing it. In some states, it’s actually the law that you do, and elsewhere, if you need a reminder that Earth needs all the help it can get, all you really need to do is turn on the TV (or look out the window) and see that some cities around the world are on the verge of literally melting. (You could also read Perfectly Good Food, which highlights the many problems associated with food waste, to see that we simply need to do a better job with, well, everything.)
OK, enough with the environment talk. Those problems are real and important, but in the end, I didn’t get a can crusher to reverse global warming; I got one because I’m lazy and I hate walking down one flight of stairs on my back patio, taking like 20 steps out to the alley, and lifting up the lid to the blue recycling bin. Truly, one of my goals in life is to figure out how to expend as little energy as possible while still doing a respectable job with my recycling and composing (if I could somehow overcome having to take the trash and recycling out altogether… well, that’s the dream). After assessing my recycling game recently and realizing that most of my household’s volume comes from sparkling water cans and beer cans, I began thinking about how to lighten that load. For one, I got an extremely good carbonator so I can spend less of my hard earned cash on cans of water, which is honestly pretty stupid when you think about it. Next, I started brainstorming about how to make those cans take up less space. For a couple days, I just crushed them with my foot, but that ended up being a huge pain in the ass, both for my foot and probably for my downstairs neighbors. So I picked up a can crusher.
There are a lot of can crushers out there, and they mostly work the same: You mount them on the wall, place a can inside, and pull a lever to crush the can. I recently tested the McKay metal can crusher, a powerful device that, for literally $16, can transform your recycling game. Indeed, there’s not really anything crazy going on here—levers are ancient tools, and the can crusher is unquestionably the apex of thousands of years of development of that technology. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was even a deleted scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey where, after discovering the bone as a tool, the apes used it to crush a beer can.
The McKay comes in a number of colors, including “American Flag,” and is very easy to install, as you just have to use a few screws to mount it on a wall. Seriously, it took me only a few minutes to get this baby poppin’ off. (I even drank a Miller High Life while installing it, to set the mood.) Naturally, you’re going to want to make sure that it’s going into a real wall and not drywall, which could really fuck up your apartment (or house) when you try to smash that first Corona; alternatively, you could screw it into a beam on your patio or even probably a tree in your backyard (if, for example, your partner doesn’t want to have a can crusher hanging in your kitchen). But having a can crusher indicates to your guests that you love to party, which is priceless (JK, it’s $16)—in any case, it’s far less than buying that electric Coors Light sign you’ve always wanted. There’s also a bottle opener on the bottom, which creates a “circle of life” kind of vibe. The cushioned handle and rubber grip for the cans makes the crushing experience pretty simple; even my weakest friends have enjoyed demolishing their beer cans, which is awesome, because nothing brings me more pleasure than showing my guests a good time.
Listen, we’re not the front line here, and we all know it. But getting a can crusher can help you make the most of your recycling space. Also, frankly, it’s super fun to finish a beer and then go literally *crush* it, channeling something primal and feeling good about yourself while doing it. Like, what more could you ask for out of your next Bud Light? It’s time to be the change you want to see in the world your beer cans.
Buy the McKay can crusher on Amazon.
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