Moms—what is there is to say? They let us live rent-free inside of their bodies for nine months, then (usually) let us live rent-free inside their homes for the next 18 or so years. For better or worse, they make us who we are. To celebrate them, we’ve ranked some of history’s most notable moms, from least good to best. Enjoy!
Norma Bates
Not the best mom, as evidenced by the premise of Psycho, but nevertheless, a famous and important mommy.
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Your mom
You know, the lady who’s so fat she uses the equator as a belt? Perhaps you know her better as the woman who’s so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl? Just kidding, she’s great, tell her I said I had a great time last night.
Allison Janney in I, Tonya
Another mom who SPOILER ALERT wasn’t the best.
Stifler’s mom
From Wikipedia: “The concept of the MILF predates the term itself, as exemplified by Mrs. Robinson in the movie The Graduate (1967). The term itself was first documented in Internet newsgroups during the 1990s. It was popularized by the film American Pie (1999), where John Cho’s character (simply credited as ‘MILF Guy No. 2’) used the term to refer to Jennifer Coolidge’s character Jeanine Stifler. [citation needed].”
Stacy’s mom
We actually don’t know much about Stacy’s mom, aside from the fact that she’s “got it goin’ on.” Still, that’s great. Congrats, mother of Stacy!
Allison Janney in The West Wing
In the last episode of the show, there is a flash-forward which reveals that SPOILER ALERT Allison Janney’s iconic West Wing character, CJ Cregg, becomes a mom. Motherhood is great, so I hear. Good for you CJ!
Amy Poehler in Mean Girls
She’s not a regular mom.
Amy Poehler in real life
She’s also not a regular mom! She’s a famous actress who is also a mom.
Allison Janney in Juno
I don’t remember the plot of this movie very well, but the girl doesn’t get an abortion, and we get to see sweet Allison play yet another mommy.
Mary, Mother of Jesus
Another famous girl who did not get an abortion.
Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice
What would you do if you had to kill one of your kids to save the other one? That’s the question SPOILER ALERT Mommy Streep grapples with in Sophie’s Choice. Sometimes motherhood is hard!
Allison Janney in Mom
Allison Janney, the best mom in television and film, doesn’t have any children of her own. But on screen, she is the Mom.
Leslie Horn
If you don’t know who Leslie Horn is I feel bad for you. She’s the managing editor of Noisey, and she’s a very nice lady. Moreover, she’s currently carrying a little baby in her tummy. (Can you imagine how heavy that’d get?) The baby hasn’t even been born yet and she’s killin’ it.
Michelle Obama
Remember the years 2009–2017? Better times when this lady was mommy to our nation. Now Sasha and Malia are the only ones who get mom’d by her, and I’m jealous.
Chrissy Teigen
Do I even need to explain this one? The most likable person on the internet is also a mom. What more could you monsters want?
Mother Earth
Also known as Mrs. Earth and Earth-Mommy, she is dying and we must save her.
Fiona the Ogre
Shrek is love, Shrek is life, but the woman who helps him achieve his ultimate Shrek-ness continues to be underappreciated.
Amber Rose
Every one of Amber Rose’s Instagram videos of her son, Sebastian, deserves an Oscar.
Linda Belcher of Bob’s Burgers
Encouraging, happy, loving. What more could you want in a mom? To not be an animated fictional character? Picky, picky…
Serena Williams
The best tennis player in the world—and a pretty great mommy to Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr.— Serena deserves credit for not giving her daughter a weird celebrity name and also for the cutest Instagram account she made for her baby. God bless this woman.
Kris Jenner
Not only is Kris Jenner the mother of Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie, but she is also the mother of Rob. She’s changed the American cultural landscape forever, and we owe her everything.
Ruth Peyser, my mom
My mom’s the best! Sorry haters, that statement is logically irrefutable.
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