A Petition to Give All MPs Drug Tests, Starting With George Osborne, Has Nearly Reached 20,000 Signatures

Just last week we told you there was something up with George Osborne. It’s not just the weird hair or the utterly barbaric fiscal policies and steely determination to plunge a nation into total financial ruin that marks him out as an oddball squeezed into an M&S suit. The fact of that matter is….George Osborne’s got the hint of a pill-head about him*. He’s sweaty, clammy, nervous, and he talks absolute star-eyed shite.

Read more: George Osborne Making Awkward Conversation Sounds Like Your Pilled Up 4AM Smoking Area Chat

And it isn’t just us here at THUMP who think that. Just over 18,000 people have now signed a petition posted on 38 Degrees, titled, “Demand for Members of Parliament to be drug tested. Starting with George Osborne.” Addressed to current Home Secretary Theresa May, its creators state that the aim is, to “Enforce compulsory drug tests for all Members of parliament, and where necessary prosecute under the misuse of substances act.” While they don’t actually go onto state how this would be made possible in reality, it’s a nice idea. One thing that might make it edge into the real world in some way would be securing 20,000 signatures, at which point Theresa is to expect a little missive arriving in her inbox. The jig’s up, MPs!

The petition starter’s seem to really have it in for Osborne, and his now legendarily woozy PMQs appearance back in 2014 seems to have sparked the whole thing.

“Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne’s appearance and bizarre behaviour during Prime Minister’s Questions on the 26th of November 2014 begs the question of whether or not he was or had recently been under the influence of drugs. The government’s exponentially failing drug policy puts public health at risk and defies the advice of their own researchers, whilst lining the pockets of dubious pharmaceutical companies and criminal gangs dealing on the black market. It is also in the public interest to know whether MPs are dabbling in legal highs, in a bid to escape failing a conventional drug test.”

Now, it’s taken a year to get them to the magic number of 18,197, so go on, do your bit and see what happens when they smash that MFin 20k mark.

*This is obviously a joke.