23 New Year’s Resolutions for 2023

Depending on how jaded you’ve become, ringing in the new year represents either a real and hopeful opportunity for a “new you” or just another night to get drunk and proceed as usual.

While time is a social construct, and it’s unlikely that anything will magically change about yourself or the world overnight, the sentiments around celebrating a new year don’t have to be completely sentimental. The end of every year and the inevitable coming of the next can still be a good reminder to reflect on your habits and a prompt to plan for some positive changes. 

Of course, nobody except your ex is saying that you have to change anything, or that you need to change as soon as possible. And as adults, we know that what we want to do isn’t necessarily what we’re going to do. But between the slow crawl out of the pandemic and the world reaching a population of 8 billion, there’s plenty of room to fuck around and also plenty of room to find out. 

Here are just some ways to do that (aka New Year’s resolutions), if you wanted to:

1. Stay the same

The coming of the new year might make you feel like you need to make some drastic changes or big upgrades to your life. But what if you kind of like your life as it is, at least right now? Don’t let the holiday make you question things you know you’re happy with. It’s OK if you like staying home. And it’s OK if you like to get wasted on weekends. If things are fine, recognize that and proceed as you are. Unless you’re hurting someone, or you’re an asshole. 

2. Call your family only as often as you like 

Yes, you should spend more time with your family, but not if it makes you resent them. There’s nothing wrong with setting some boundaries to make you appreciate them more and vice versa. Don’t wait until someone’s sick to start visiting, but also don’t visit if it’s just going to put you in a bad mood for a week. 

3. Use all your leaves at work 

Don’t work when you’re sick. Say you need a mental health day. Plan a vacation and stick to it. Those leaves are yours to use. 

4. Milk all your work benefits

While you review your contract to find out how many leaves you have left, also review what benefits come with the job. In fact, in the spirit of the new year, why don’t you just go ahead and ask for more. Maybe your company can pay for your internet, maybe it can give you money for new equipment. They can’t fire you for asking. 

5. Try (or end) a situationship 

If you don’t know what that is, lucky you. Or maybe unlucky you. Some situationships are fun (supposedly). If you think you can have one, go ahead and try it. Other situations are shit (still, supposedly). If you think you’re in one, go ahead and end it if that’s something you don’t want to carry over to 2023. 

6. Stop “liking” Instagram stories

If you want someone to know you’re into them, muster up the courage to at least react with an emoji that they can reply to. Cowards. 

7. Get on PrEP 

The pill that drastically prevents HIV infection is for anyone at risk of getting HIV—basically anyone who has sex. If that’s you, ask your doctor about it.

8. Pursue your pleasure

There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure because feeling good shouldn’t make you feel bad (that’s why it feels good!). Beyond criminal offenses and hurting people (including yourself), stop being ashamed of the things you enjoy. Keep enjoying them. 

9. Unsubscribe, don’t like, and don’t leave a comment

There’s no need for you to interact with absolutely everything you see on the internet. There isn’t even a need to see all of it to begin with. Throughout the year, think twice if you really want to give so much of yourself away by reacting to something, and regularly review the channels and profiles you follow. Don’t hesitate to unfollow some of them—you can always follow them again. 

10. Learn some new sex stuff

Maybe you’re already good at sex. You know what, maybe you’re great. But you can always be better. This doesn’t necessarily mean learning fancy new tricks or kinky stuff, although it can. Whether you’re eating ass or sucking clit, it can also be helpful to go back to the basics. 

11. Start caring about something 

There is a lot going on in the world and plenty is changing all the time. Some of those things will prove to be important in five or 10 years, others a waste of time. Choose one thing and decide to care about it, no matter how overwhelming or even hopeless it might feel at the start. Maybe it’s the climate crisis, the economy, local and international politics, or crypto. At the very least, you’ll learn something new. 

12. Stop caring about something 

Many people carry around the weight of expectations, their own or others, real or imagined. They’d simply do better leaving those behind. Is having the latest in designer fashion really that important if you can’t actually afford it? How will obsessing over the number of likes you get on a social media post benefit you? And no, your ex doesn’t have to know how hot you’ve become. You’re still hot anyway.

13. Try something mystical

You don’t have to buy into it completely, but there’s a reason things like astrology and tarot have been around for so long. Ask a friend who’s into it to tell you about it, or search your sign on TikTok. Whether it makes you feel seen, ridiculous, or ridiculously seen, you’ll at least feel something. 

14. Learn something practical

We live in a society where most things can be achieved by pressing a few buttons on a screen. Your mind and body are capable of doing much more than that. A few examples of practical things to try: playing an instrument, cooking a meal, checking your car, fixing a sink.

15. Gatekeep something 

Take this one with a grain of salt. The best things in life are shared, but there are some pretty good things that are just more fun to keep to yourself, at least for a little while. That secret bar nobody seems to know about? Enjoy a few drinks alone or some intimate first dates in it before you take your group of friends. That great new restaurant? Let them find their footing before making them go viral on TikTok. That untouched beach? Keep it untouched.  

16. Work as much or as a little as you want (and can afford to)

Beyond doing the work you have to do to stay alive, it’s up to you to decide when to work harder and when to take it easy. Toxic productivity is a thing and if it’s really toxic, then it should be avoided. But having a job you genuinely enjoy and catching momentum in your career are also things, and should be appreciated. 

17. Take better pictures and videos 

No, this isn’t about content. It’s about having more ways to remember what you’re going to want to remember. There are likely thousands of articles and videos about how you can take better pictures and videos. Read or watch one of them. 

18. All the usual health reminders

We all already know these things, but we still need to be reminded: Drink more water, get better sleep, exercise every now and then, get some sunlight, take some vitamins, get a checkup. 

19. Read a book about something you saw on TikTok

…or on Reddit, or heard about on a podcast. If the tidbit of information on the topic piqued your interest, chances are so will its history and nuances. You’ll also be able to say “I read somewhere that…” and actually have read something.

20. Embrace bad moods

Nobody is happy all the time. And even if someone was, that doesn’t mean you have to be. Feel your feels and take however much time you need to get through negative emotions. Wanting them to not exist only makes things worse. 

21. Learn to shrug things off

You’re entitled to feel the way you feel, but few people are actively trying to insult, offend, or otherwise hurt you by things they say or do. So do what you have to do, shrug it off, then stop thinking about it. 

22. Forgive a few people 

There are reasons we get angry and disappointed, but there are also reasons to forgive. Maybe it was a bad breakup or a friendship gone awry. If the lessons have been learned and the changes have been made, forgiving people might feel good for everyone involved. While we’re at it, think of the reasons you’re angry at and disappointed with yourself—and forgive yourself for those things, too.

23. And finally, listen to “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” 

There’s always something in it that happens to be more relevant than it was the last time you listened. 

Follow Romano Santos on Instagram.