Image by Ben Thomson
It’s been a turbulent couple of weeks on New Zealand reality TV with bullying judges making global headlines and the chequered pasts of contestants coming to light. In the most talked about news to come out of NZ since Lorde, well, did anything, two judges from The X Factor were fired this week for their unhinged tirade against a contestant.
Willy Moon and his wife Natalia Kills gave generic competitor Joe Irvine a dressing down for apparently infringing on Moon’s intellectual property by wearing a suit and having hair. The world united with New Zealand against the two karaoke judges for viciously attacking Joe. And stood up to bullying in the only way we know how—by leaving a woman countless social media messages threatening to kill her.Videos by VICE
It was a strange twist of events that New Zealand, who generally views itself as the wool-lined nice guy of global affairs, turned out the most sadistic contest panel judges. But perhaps it was just a machiavellian case of televisual karma. After all, we did invent the pop singer reality TV genre in 1999 with Popstars—you are welcome.
Despite being the first show to show the inner workings of a manufactured pop band—and setting the mould for countless variations on the theme—the first and only season was fairly bloodless. The most pointed barb a judge managed was, “she’s fairly short”.
Since Sunday the story has continued to dominate the news cycle by picking over the aftermath of the whole mess. Willy Moon and Natalia Kills were promptly fired, fled the country, and are now happily ensconced in the land of originality, Los Angeles. Joe appears to have recovered and be enjoying humanity’s love of the underdog. In a few days he attracted the support of Lorde, Ed Sheeran, and Ellie Gould—not bad for a dude from Invercargill.
But this was hardly the show’s only taste of questionable choices this year. The producers had already drawn criticism for appearing to minimise the role one of the contestants had played in a 2004 homicide. Shae Brider spent six years in prison for his part in the stabbing death of a 16-year-old . While he was upfront about his conviction from the start, he coloured the incident as a “wrong place at the wrong time” scenario.
The victim’s family responded by insisting the full story be told, and reported that Shae had seriously assaulted three other people on the night of the stabbing. The family continued by stating their distress wasn’t over the inclusion of Shae in the show, but rather the conscious way it presented him as a victim to provide a sympathetic contestant backstory. No one wants to see the guy implicated in their son’s death emotionally telling his story before shuffling onstage to perform “The Real Slim Shady”.
Away from music and towards true love, TV3’s The Bachelor NZ also wasn’t the romantic interlude everyone expected. Things started breezily enough, until it was revealed bachelorette Danielle Le Gallais was a convicted con-woman. We’re not sure what the official Bachelor background check looks like, but it’s safe to say it missed Danielle’s contentious past. Underneath all those pearly teeth were a number of convictions, including theft from her employer, fraud and providing a false name, amongst other transgressions. As a side note, it was later revealed that another contestant, Danielle Robinson, had a drink-driving conviction.
Danielle’s dishonest ways must have been a particularly heavy blow for this season’s bachelor Art Green. Because when you’re simultaneously dating 20 women, trust is a big thing. Let’s all hope that hussy is driven from our screens so only those pure of heart remain to compete for the affections of the paleo Prince.
It’s safe to say that no one expected Lana Cocroft’s near death from toxic shock while filming Celebrity Treasure Island to be topped as the darkest chapter in NZ reality TV history. But 2015 looks like it has already done it.
Follow Carolyn on Twitter: @wowcat9
