Hold On – Why Was That Guy Actually Cycling Completely Naked Through Clapham?

Who was the real Jack the Ripper? Is there ever a day that DFS sofas aren’t on sale? Who first decided to drink the secretions from the udders of a cow? There are plenty of mysteries in life that may never be solved, and last year another was added to the canon: why was a man cycling completely naked through the streets of Clapham?

A video of the nude cyclist went viral after a personal trainer known as Mr Awesome uploaded it to his Instagram. At the end of this video, Mr Awesome asks the guy why he’s riding around in the buff, but the clip cuts out just before he can answer. Understandably, this left a lot of people very confused: what was he up to, they asked in the comments. Why was he hurtling through a residential neighbourhood with his genitals whistling in the breeze?

I tracked down Mr Awesome for an answer.

VICE: Can you run me through what happened that day?
Mr Awesome: I was just driving home from my ex-girlfriend’s house, and basically, as I was coming into my area… I dunno how I noticed him – maybe it was because he wasn’t looking like a normal guy. Like, you know when someone comes out the bath and they moisturised themselves in baby oil and they look all shiny?

Yeah?
Yeah – that’s how I noticed him, innit. Like a magpie to a shiny thing, I just spotted him and was like, ‘Whats going on there? What’s all this? Then, as I got closer, he sort of hopped on the bike – but he didn’t do it normally – and started riding, and it sort of popped into my brain, ‘Am I really seeing this?’

Had you seen this guy before?
Nah, I never actually seen him before. He came out of the house and just hopped onto the bike, and he just kept it moving. As I got closer I just couldn’t believe I was riding through Clapham and seeing this guy naked. Like, you only see them things in the movies, y’know?

The video cuts out when you ask him why he was naked. Can you tell us what he said?
Yeah, I’m kinda glad. I’m glad that it cut out at that point.

Why?
Cos everyone asks me, and to this day I haven’t given them the answer.

Come on – you have to tell us?
Nah. I think I’m gonna keep it a secret. I’m gonna keep that until my last breath, cos everyone asks me that question, so I’m not gonna reveal it. Not yet.

Okay, fair enough. But if you can’t tell us what he said, at least tell us what happened next?
After that he just turned a corner and rode off into the sunset. I was just like, “Wow.”

Whereabouts in Clapham was this?
Do you know Northcote Road?

Yeah.
Yeah, just off there.

What are your general thoughts on people being naked in the city?
Well, you know what, yeah? I think in England, with its stiff upper lip, that it’s something refreshing. It’s actually refreshing to know that it can happen in real life, y’know what I mean?

Totally. So you think everyone should be getting naked more often?
I don’t know about everyone… but those who dare win.

If anyone deserves to be naked, it’s this guy.
Yeah, he looked the part, y’know! Like he knew what he was gonna do today. Y’know, like, “I’m gonna wake up… and ride naked.”

What advice would you give him if you saw him again?
Give us some warning please. Y’know? Put a sign on your back: “Naked Rider In Progress.”

How long did it take for the video to go viral?
Do you know what, yeah, it was quite weird, cos I put it on Instagram straight away, and then phoned one of my friends and said, “Go on Instagram, NOW.” And then they went kinda crazy and said, “Please turn your Insta off private.” Within half an hour I had over 250 comments and 300 likes, but after, like, 12 hours Instagram decided to cancel my account.

That’s a shame.
Yeah, they shut it down. But it was a good moment still.

Do you shoot a lot of videos? Seen anything else that weird?
Well, there’s a group of us that record stuff. There’s probably a load of stuff that we’ve already recorded that’s out there already. We ain’t got no name. Maybe we should start naming ourselves – start making some money out of this thing.

Thanks, Mr Awesome.

Are you the naked cyclist of Clapham? Was that you, balls out, inner tube wrapped around your person, bombing down Northcote Road? If not, do you recognise who it is? If you have any information at all, please get in touch. It’s been driving us nuts for a year.

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