[Editor’s Note: Meet our friend @Seinfeld2000. He uses Twitter as a platform to imagine a surreal hellscape in which Seinfeld is still on in the modern era. @Seinfeld2000 started out as a parody of the relatively straightforward Twitter account @SeinfeldToday, but through S2K’s unique style, consisting of broken English, an irrational hatred of Barack Obama, and a rich internal world in which the Seinfeld characters are murderous sex addicts who measure time with pieces of technology, Seinfeld2000 has in many ways transcended its trollish roots. He’s made a video game, written an e-book, and been profiled by the New York Times.]
If Seinfeld charactar Gerge Costanze encountared Donald Trump today, he would push children and old ladys just to get away from him. Because Donald is on fire rite now
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Look, whether u love him or just plane hate him, Big Donny T. has brought some drama to the electien and electrified the republicen base, thats why according to the poll’s or whatever so many republican voters are saying “I think it moved” when ever they see Trump!
Remember when Jery Seinfeld had beef with Donald Trump? It was April 2011. The Royal Couple was geting maried, Arab Spring was in full efect, and in a month, Bary Obame would wipe Osama bin Laden off the face of the planet. Meanwhile, The Apprentice was still on NBC and its figurehead, real estate impresario Donald J Trump, his regal fluff of sunrise-color Mattel synthetic coton candy hair on fleek, was puting President Barack Husein Obama on blast
Obame was seeking his second term in office, birtherwave was in its prime, and “The Doneld” was every day questiening Barry Obamas U.S. citizenship and DEMANDING that every membre of the Americen people simply have the chance to personaly hand-examine and scrutenize Obame long form birth certifcate
btw did Obame ever actualy release that document? If not it would be hella sick if he surprise Birth Certificate release thru TIDAL
So anyway, while Trump was persitently making on a very rationel and for sure not-racist campagn for the presedent to supply the documentaish to prove hes not born in Kenya (speak of the devil guess where the Presedent is rite now) guess who just hapened to be booked to perform at Donald son Eric Trumps charity ball or whatever to benefit the St Jude Children Research Hospital. I’ll give u a hint: it Jery Seinfeld
Do u remember that epsode of ‘Seinfend’ when Jary he just get Babu deported bc his Visa aplicatien get mixed in with Jer Bear’s mail? So obvi the underlying theme of whole epsode is Jary basicaly incapeable of empathy for any 1 or any thing even a foregn man in New york city trying to make a better life for himself even as he endure the crushing beuracracy of the imigratien process in a strange land. But guess wat, so in like fictienal storytelling? k theres a little thing i liek to call ‘separatien of art from artist’. Thats what explain why the Drake doesn’t wriet his own raps and also why Jary Senfend get so offense by Donald Trump comments that he just skip out on Baby Trumps charity ball
Trump was prety chilax about the whole sitch, jk he went balistic. The mogul-slash-attention black hole fired off a response letter with so many exclamatien marks, it was like a manuscript writen by Elanes ex boyfriend after elane passive agresively edited it bc she was mad that he didnt use enough exclamatien point when he took a mesage that her friend had the baby– btw if this epsode hapened in the current day it would be no sweat becase Elane would have probably just receive an iMessage abt it smdh
Related: @Seinfeld2000 Breaks Down Taylor Swift’s Open Letter to Apple
Heres what Trump said abt Jery after he canceled his apearance: “What I do feel badly about is that I agreed to do, and did, your failed show, ‘The Marriage Ref,’ even though I thought it was absolutely terrible. Despite its poor ratings, I didn’t cancel on you like you canceled on my son and St. Jude. I only wish I did.”
Ok ok, I know what some of u are thinking. In the words of Gerge from “Seinfeld”, back it up back it up–beep beep beeep – what the f is The Mariage Ref
K so if u already know what it is, u can just scroll to the next paragraph bc i dont want u roling ur eyes reading this like “ya I know”. I know u know. This part is just for ppl who need a bit of aditional backgrond. From 2010-2012 Jery did The Mariage Ref a reality show where a panel of comediens and celebs helped solve “real couples” relatienship probelms and help them achieve their #relatienship goals. Honestly its one of the most underated shows in TV history and a cult clasic that me and my frends have viewing partys and watch. Once even some girls came to one of my Mariage Ref partys. Earlier in the day i watched the epsode and memorized so many cool and clever coment and respanse to say at the party but they left early before we could start watching Mariage Ref
Anyway u think Jery seinfeld was just gona catch those shot’s fired from Donald Trump and not retaliate? Hes not Drake. Hes jery. And the answer is no.
Jery went on the entartanement programme Extra and brought a litle ether in his fanny pack: “Let me say this about Donald Trump. I love Donald Trump, all comedians love Donald Trump. If God gave comedians the power to invent people, the first person we would invent is Donald Trump. … God’s gift to comedy.”
personaly i think that like theoreticaly if Seinfeld still on televisien today and there was a plot where Jery was given the power to invent people, he would invent a superman-obsesed Kate Upton lookalike before he invent Donald Trump but thats just me. Like what u imagen seinfeld would be like today is a very subjective thing and basicaly there is no wrong answar
Jery vs. Donald Trump isnt the only high profile beef that seinfeld has goten himself EMBROIL in. Like, even take this very same week, when it was…
SEINFELD VS BILL COSBY
Look i think its fair to say that things arent exactly going the best for Cosby rite now, just like career wise or whatever. Like this morning it look like hes gona have to do another deposish due all the sex crime
Jery isnt having it. He had a blarb on the latest book about Bill Cosby that said “if you want to join the Religion of Cosby, as I did back in 1966, Mark Whitaker’s wonderful new book would be our Bible.”
Now this week Jery along with David Leterman jointly demanded that that quote be remove from the book now that its painfuly clear that Cosby spent his whole career as secret leader of the Church of Quaaludes And Non Consensual Intercourse
SEINFELD VS LADY GAGA
Now, on “Seinfeld” Gerge famously worked for the Yankes but we all know Jery loves his Mets. So when Lady Gaga (former pop singer from turn of the 2010s) went to a New York Met game in 2011 and started throwing up middle fingers, then weirdly she got moved to Jery Seinfelds own privete box – u know he had to go on sports radio statien WFAN and do what it do. Listen to some of these verbal darts he hurtled her way
“This woman is a jerk. I hate her.”
Omg rekt
“I can’t believe they put her in my box, which I paid for. You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we’re living in now? It’s pathetic.”
slayy jery
“Get an act. Rhinestone bikinis and giving people the finger?”
QUEEEENNNNNNN
I mean look at Gaga now. Her carere is in the garbage can, not even above the rim. Like if Gagas career was an eclaire, Gerge wouldnt even eat it lmao
SEINFELD VS. YOUTUBE
Speaking of garbage cans thats what Jery called YouTube in April lmaoooo. Literaly he refered to it as a “GIant Garbage Can” of “User Generated Content”
Oh jery, u werent saying that when u had Youtube star Miranda Sings on your web serese, Comedians Geting Cars
SEINFELD VS. BRIAN WILLIAMS
Jery kicked Brian Wiliams when he was down on SNL40. Bri bri had just been suspended for lying or whatever LMAO Jery has zero chill
“You know there are so many things about ‘Saturday Night Live’ that people don’t know. Like for example, I just found out that one of the original cast members in 1975 was Brian Williams. I didn’t — I don’t know if that’s true. But I never heard that. It doesn’t sound true. It might not be, it might not be.”
SEINFELD VS. PRINCE WILLIAM AND PRINCESS KATE
Jery seinfeld is fucking G ok never forget that as long as you live. Back in 2011, Jery was on ITVs Daybreak in England and when they ask him how he feel about the upcoming royal wedding, Jery just respond “its a circus act, it’s an absurd act. You know, it’s a dress-up. It’s a classic English thing of let’s play dress-up. Let’s pretend that these are special people. OK, we’ll all pretend that – that’s what theater is”
Anyway i guess thats prety much it
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