Rocky Horror types get up in arms if you try to muscle in on their midnight movie turf (they're also pissed about the remake they're doing, which we are sure is going to be one unlookawayable trainwreck), but, as with all monopolies, it's healthy to bring in some competition to mix things up every so often. Last week the Sunshine in New York had The Road Warrior (which was great except for this one nerdy college girl sitting behind us who laughed literally every time a new character appeared onscreen in that condescending "Ooooh kay, now I've seen everything" way—FYI, you are not more smarter than The Road Warrior, just less interesting), and tonight in Austin, the Downtown Alamo Drafthouse is screening The Apple. What is the Apple?It's the cinematic result of a 1979 experiment wherein scientists kidnapped the local fag from a small-town rollerdisco rink somewhere in the Midwest, force-fed him poppers for an hour, then hooked him up to a mental projection unit and said the following words: New York, dystopic future, rhinestone dogcollar, cocaine, monorail, Ace Frehley, cocaine, the bible, track lighting, babies. Because he was gay, his mind automatically turned it into a musical and cast it with the world's best-looking, worst-singing Roger Daltrey lookalike in the lead. Actually, everybody in the movie is kind of a shitty singer and vaguely resembles a busted version of a slightly more famous person, which just adds to the overall atmosphere of "Let's just get this thing finished and printed before the comedown gives us second thoughts."
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