Question of the Day – Are Football Hooligans Sexy?

Welcome to Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!

Tomorrow (Friday 8th June), Euro 2012 begins with an opening match between Poland (who are joint-hosting the tournament with Ukraine) and Greece. Like many a modern international sporting competition, Euro 2012 has attracted its fair share of controversy. After getting gripes with the racism, anti-semitism, corruption, hunger-striking Ukrainian politician, animal cruelty, toxic jerseys, terrorist attack, topless protests, and rip-off hotels out of their system, the tabloids this morning retrained their focus on the sorest dog of sports-related media outrage: the English hooligan.

In 2012, over 2,000 English hooligans are still banned from travelling to international competitions like the Euros. The decades spent on the wrong side of the law has afforded the hoolis an outsider status, films like The Firm and Football Factory portraying them as rebellious, working class anti-heroes. But is bottling someone a turn-off or a tell-tale sign of sexual virility? Does a man’s insistence on indulging his primal tribal urge make him more appealing as a mate? Are football hooligans sexy?

VICE: Are football hooligans sexy?
Alice, 25, charity volunteer: No.

Why not?
Because I don’t like football.

Is it the football that puts you off, or them being a hooligan, or both?
I think the hooligan part is the worst.

Do you not like their appearance?
I think they look nice, but sometimes they can be dangerous.

Kate, 28, theatre director, and Dani, 27, actor and performer.

Dani: Absolutely not.
Kate: It’s vulgar.

What’s vulgar about having a laugh and kicking the shit out of someone?
Kate: Erm, they are the derogatory archetypal stereotype of the male-centric point of view, where you think it’s OK to walk down the street shouting and disrupting everyone’s lives.
Dani: Basically everything we hate in some men brought together in one big, drunken mess.

OK. What if the hooligan was charming all the time, except on weekends?
Dani: No, it still doesn’t make it right, you are what you do.

So it’s their destructive and hyper-masculine tendencies that put you off?
Dani: Yeah, at least a political hooligan is fighting for something. 

So football hooligans are rubbish because they cause so much drama over a ball instead of a political ideal?
Dani: Yeah, they could invest their energy into anything but they choose a sport, it’s stupid.

Lea, 21, and Helen, 21 both students.

Both: No.

Oh. Why not?
Helen: Well I’m not into guys and you don’t get many women football hooligans.

I guess you don’t. What about a woman hooligan, would she push your buttons?
Helen: No, definitely not.

What is it that puts you off football hooligans?
Lea: I don’t know, their style I guess.

They’re usually pretty well turned out, though?
Lea: [laughs] Well sometimes thuggish men are attractive, but I think it comes down to a long-term thing, like if you have anything in common.
Helen: They’re aggressive, too.

What if he looked like your conventional football hooligan but was actually quite charming and eloquent?
Lea: Maybe, yeah.

Mike, 25, chef: Well I’m not gay, so no.

So you reckon there are no female football hooligans?
I’m sure there are but they might be a bit too hasty for me, you know some of them are OK, but some of them like doing bad shit.

So would you be happy courting a female football hooligan, who possessed the classic casual dress sense?
Yeah man! My girlfriend’s a bit of a chav.

Marie, 23, chef: Not really.

Why not?
They’re just football freaks that I can’t get attracted to.

Is it the football you don’t like or the hooliganism?
It’s everything. I heard just the other day that some Arsenal fans beat down a Blackburn supporter and killed him, so since then I’ve been thinking what’s the point in supporting football, when you’re just supporting murder?

Some Arsenal fans? Really?
Yeah, that’s what I heard. Football’s a nice sport, don’t get me wrong, but the attention it brings is not very nice.

PC Otiara, 32, community support officer: No! Not that I have seen many of them. I can’t say I have come across many sexy football hooligans, so that would be a “no”.

You haven’t even come across any in your line of work?
We have yeah, they blend in to the crowds and want to get involved in the whole thing but I can never remember seeing an attractive one.

What puts you off them?
I just think it’s the attitude, not really the appearance.

So you wouldn’t invite a football hooligan around for dinner with your family?
I wouldn’t, no.

What if she was a sophisticated football hooligan with an edge of decorum?
Well that’s different then, isn’t it?

Tony, 53, Big Issue seller: I’m not into football.

What about hooligans, are you into them?
Yeah, yeah.

Do you find hooligans attractive?
No, no.

Would you marry a hooligan if she was a nice girl?
No, I was married to one for 25 years and she kicked me out of the house.

So your saying “don’t marry a hooligan”?
That is what I am saying, yes.

Anna, 28, teacher (right): Hooligans?

Yeah, football hooligans.
No, why would you?

Why wouldn’t you?
Because generally they’re nasty, horrible people who enjoy going around smashing things up and being obnoxious.

Roxie, 22, and Laura, 20, both drama students.

Roxie: No, ‘cos they are loud and lairy. I’m fine with football fans, but not hooligans.

What if you met one who was quite reserved and respectable?
Laura: Then what would make him a hooligan?

He smashes people over the head with bottles at the weekend, but during the week he is a pretty stand-up guy.
Laura: But how would I know he was a nice guy if I only saw the hooligan side?

Because you would be with him the whole time, so you could see the transition from friendly, nice guy, to drunken, violent, bigot guy.
Roxie: I’d rather find someone who don’t bottle people on the weekends who would be just as charming.

Vicky, 20, unemployed: No.

Why not?
‘Cos they’re hooligans!

What’s wrong with hooligans?
I don’t know, i just never found them pretty.

What’s the main thing apart from their lack of prettiness that puts you off?
Their loudness.

What about the casual dress sense?
I don’t really like that kind of style.

What if a guy dressed in that style approached you, but he seemed like a nice guy?
Yeah, alright I’d give him a go.

If you met a hooligan who was into lager and mindless violence BUT he liked the same music as you, would that be enough to make a connection?
Yeah.

Would you marry a football hooligan?
I think I would be OK with that.

Alright then.

Previously – How Would You Like to Die?