Some Monster Set a Duke Hype Song to “Hallelujah”

Reasons to hate Duke are like Grayson Allen tripping dudes on the court: endless and ever forthcoming.

We’d like to introduce you to the worst thing this side of well, every other Duke thing. And it comes with an extra side of Los Angeles, bruh!

On the night of Leonard Cohen’s death, a Blue Devil fanatic/coffeehouse crooner/sensitive bottle blonde named Jackson Steger was taking a shower, presumably to wash away the sadness, when it hit him.

Leonard’s Cohen’s most overrated and overplayed song matches up perfectly with “Let’s Go Duke, Yeah,” a phrase never once uttered until songboy took his acoustic to the roof overlooking LA’s legendary Vagabond Inn. With Duke and rival UNC set to renew hostilities tomorrow night, it was the perfect time to unleash this on humanity.

Steger claims it’s a parody, but he’s way too into his own genius, half-Laettner-get-me-I’m-doing-this-thing, half-JJ-Reddick-emo-poet.

The nadir of this monstrosity is it came to Steger in the shower following Cohen’s death. “I realized while scrubbing the bells, that we lost an icon today, but gained a Durham anthem!”

(For what it’s worth, Yeats. You can’t rhyme “got chills” and “Chapel Hill.” They teach syntax at Duke?)

Weekend-saving antidote, stat! Make it darker, Lenny!

Hallelujah.