“The Girlfriend experience” is a phrase I’ve heard jokingly thrown about by mates, the words alone evoking the saddest possible transmogrification of something real and cardiothoracic into paid-for artifice.
But one man’s shame is another man’s Shangri-La, and many embrace the transactional gf arrangement for all manner of reasons. Given it’s their job to become a one-night confidante and temporary life-partner to a never-ending procession of guys, we thought we’d chat to a professional girlfriend about the things they’ve learnt about modern men in the process.
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Maddison Fox is a 32-year-old British OnlyFans model, but she also offers an extremely realistic girlfriend experience, be it online or in person. VICE sat down with Fox to discuss some key findings from her time spent in the company of paying johns.
Men want to explore sexual fetishes…
“…but they won’t do it with their girlfriends or wives. I had a really bad one the other day, seriously horrendous, like a rape fantasy. Armpit fetishes. There’s also been some absurd stuff involving gunge. And there’s a thing called vore, which is pretending to eat people and then your stomach gets really bulging and huge. God, there’s so many.”
Men are lonely, even in relationships…
“Men today are not being their true selves, especially with the people they should be. They’re ashamed of their sexual drive and they’re ashamed of what they’re into. Because of monogamy and how women get jealous, guys are so frightened to upset their girlfriends that they end up not divulging anything and going elsewhere to feed that part of them. Sometimes it is things like pegging, but most of the time it’s just an honest conversation about what they like and how they like it. I think a lot of people who are together today probably shouldn’t be.”
Paying men treat me better and are more honest…
“The guys I actually date treat me like absolute dog shit. Yet when someone’s paying for it, they really see the value. They’re more honest than people in my life who don’t pay, which is a really fucked-up contradiction. They’re chivalrous, they’re kind, they’re generous. They want to worship you. They want to show you how great you are.”
Even if they’re paying, men are still looking for love…
“A lot of the guys interested specifically in the girlfriend experience are looking to fall in love; like, they really want to commit. It’s not necessarily done in a seedy, sexual way. Your best spenders will be people that are in love with you.”
But there are a lot of men with low self-esteem…
“I think a lot of the men pursue me or others like me because it’s an ego boost. They love the ego to be stroked, and that’s one of the biggest things about what we do—you can never really be fully honest with the guy. Guys are so easily led when it comes to stroking their ego.”
To the modern man, sex workers are the new therapists…
“Sometimes it’s the only time that guys will be asked how they are or have deep chats. I think that’s why a lot of them get confusingly wrapped up in it, because they’re feeling real feelings in a transactional situation. They will tell us things they’ve never told anyone else. Some guys are really going through a tough time and, through the element of sex, they’re able to chat deeply.”
Some men are just generous…
“A lot of the people who pay for services, they’re not even necessarily doing it with the expectation of receiving anything back. A lot of them are just really generous people, and they enjoy being generous. It’s more like a sugar daddy scenario.”
Guys want to submit to feminine energy…
“A lot of guys want to worship and sort of idolize the feminine energy. We live in a masculine culture, and a lot of guys just want to indulge in the feminine and worship a woman for once.”
A lot of men are deluded…
“A darker side to the psychology is that a lot of the time, guys who are regular customers are almost living in an alternative reality. They’re sort of in a level of psychosis where they’re transfixed by you. They make up this reality within their head where they’re almost not thinking straight, because they’re so indulged in it.”
Some men enjoy being manipulated…
“Some are aware of that, others less so. Men enjoy just being wrapped up in the fantasy of it.”
Follow Nick Thompson on X @niche_t_
