The Porn Star Martini is a cocktail synonymous with student nights out at Tiger Tiger or ~catch-ups with the gals~ in All Bar One corner booths. It’s work drinks that get out of hand and end up in a Leicester Square bar at 1 AM, your boss slurring his way to adultery with the office manager. It’s the pitcher your fragile male friends buy at Wetherspoons because the name is “truly patter lol,” but actually they just really prefer the taste of passion fruit to lager.
What the Porn Star Martini isn’t, however, is a cocktail that deserves to be named the UK’s favourite.
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And yet, research from trade specialist CGA Strategy has named the Porn Star Martini the most popular cocktail in Britain, according to “total on-trade moving, annual total volume.” As reported by industry website The Drinks Business, this means that the sugary drink has overtaken the delicious, wholesome mojito as the British public’s fave cocktail.
The Porn Star Martini—named so because its creator Douglas Ankrah thought it was, uh, something porn stars would drink—is made with vanilla vodka, fresh passion fruit, passion fruit liqueur, and lime juice, and usually served with a shot of Champagne. Ankrah allegedly came up with the drink at The Townhouse bar in West London in 2002.
But can the popularity of this largely mediocre (sorry, Ankrah) cocktail really be true? I wasn’t aware Porn Star Martinis were still being sold, let alone actively sought out by the boozing public. I asked Gordon McGowan, owner of the bar Stockton in South East London, what he makes of the Porn Star Martini being named the nation’s favourite.
“I’m not surprised, based on what I’ve witnessed in other areas, but it’s not really a trend that’s hit, or I suspect is likely to hit [South East London] any time soon, to be honest,” he told me over email. “I think it says more for the particular hipster bubble that we’re in around here than anything else though. As far as off-menu cocktail requests go, the negroni still dominates, followed by the margarita.”
Luke McLoughlin, co-founder of the Spread Eagle Pub in East London, also expressed surprise at the news of the Porn Star Martini’s popularity.
“Well, this is a shock, although there is a trend towards sweeter tasting cocktails,” he said over email. “Perhaps its success is due to how naff it sounds. Maybe we should try and sexualise other cocktails … the Pimp Colada, Bondage Mary, or a Dark and Horny.”
I also contacted JD Wetherspoons, the largest pub chain in the UK, to see whether it had witnessed a trend for Porn Star Martinis. Interestingly, a spokesperson for the company informed MUNCHIES that its most popular cocktail this year wasn’t the Porn Star Martini, although the drink did feature in its top three most popular cocktails.
Questionably named passion fruit martinis may not be everyone’s cocktail of choice, but it seems Brits are buying more cocktails in general. The CGA Mixed Drinks Report, released in April this year, notes that cocktail sales jumped in the first quarter of 2018 by 7.5 percent year-on-year, beating the 4 percent average for other type of booze. Supermarkets, however, are the real winners when it comes to booze sales, with alcohol sales rising by £172 million in 2017, compared to the previous year.
Clearly, Britain isn’t cutting back on drinking any time soon, and no wonder. If this year it’s some sickly sweet cocktail with a terrible name, then so be it. Who are we to judge how you drown your sorrows?