Danny Green Is Not a Fan of Bagged Milk

Once again, a migrant American is attacking the Canadian way of life.

And by “way of life” I of course mean one of the methods in which we purchase and ingest one of our most controversial beverages: milk. Sweet, sweet milk.

It’s no secret by now that our milk storage and distribution methods are seen as controversial by much of the outside world and by many of those visiting or living in Canada for the first time. We’ve grown to learn this is especially true when it comes to athletes.

On a recent episode of Yahoo Sports’ Inside the Green Room podcast, Danny Green revealed that he’s the latest to join the anti-Canadian-milker movement after his co-host asked him for his thoughts on the state of milk in this country. In short, Green doesn’t understand why some people here drink milk out of plastic bags.

“And I may be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure that most of the milk here comes in a bag. It’s not very efficient, it’s not convenient, it’s borderline a pain in the ass to pour milk in a bag,” he said. “You have to buy your own container—I was almost late today to practice because of going to the store, the container store, to find some containers to put my milk from out of this bag into containers.

“Couldn’t just be like the rest of the world and put it in like you know, a gallon, or glass, something that you can pour it out of. You can’t really store in a bag or pour out of a bag. It needs to change. I don’t know who we need to talk to, but that needs to change.”

Don't get @DGreen_14 started about bagged milk 😂 pic.twitter.com/3L4BFIOz2j

— Yahoo Sports Canada (@YahooCASports) December 10, 2018

As much as a pure-blooded Canadian like myself wants to instinctively jump on this and defend bagged milk’s honour to the death, the man does raise some valid points. (We should note that bagged milk is not a thing in all parts of the country, and we aren’t the only country in the world that consumes it this way. But it is most certainly a thing in Canada’s biggest province, Ontario, home to Toronto.)

It is pretty insane to have to transfer one carrying vessel (milk bag) and drop that into another (milk container) and then cut a slice in the corner of the bag to pour the milk out of. That’s certainly the case when you consider the alternative, which allows you to pour it straight out of a jug or bottle. I get that. It’s weird as hell.

Other imported US athletes have had their own issues with our bagged dairy before, too, including former Blue Jays pitcher J.A. Happ, who made his feelings clear on the situation back in 2016.

“You guys sell milk in bags and I don’t really get why, or what you do then with the bags. Other than that it seems like Canada’s doing a pretty good job. [Laughs.] But I don’t get the milk. Put it in a gallon jug so you don’t have the sloppy, messy bag.”

You know what’s actually crazy, though? You can literally buy sealed containers of milk in Canada, like almost everywhere except certain parts of Ontario. There’s one- and two-litre cardboard cartons (and even smaller sizes) available, as well as larger, plastic jugs with the screw-off lid in basically any part of the country. And you can go the organic route and buy milk out of glass containers. You can literally buy milk here almost every single way it’s possibly packaged, but apparently once our American friends see the bagged milk and container combo, they can’t let it go.

We out here milkin’ with the best of them, you just have to dig a little deeper to see it.