Has someone ever told you an elaborate story that can’t possibly be true but you know there’s a kernel of truth in there, somewhere, that they’re wrapping in abject insanity? That’s probably what’s happening with Tucker Carlson’s claim he was mauled by a demon that left him with physical scars. He probably doesn’t actually have the scars, and if he does, a demon sure as shit didn’t put them there.
Carlson is a weirdo who was fired from Fox News – a haven for creepy little freaks – for being too much of a weirdo. The most recent evidence of this can be found in his speech at a recent Trump rally. He said the presidential candidate is ready to discipline the nation for its “disobedience” and would do so by giving the country a “vigorous spanking.”
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The thing about a lot of these conservative media types is that they’re always screaming their insecurities and fetishes at you but mask them in punishment toward their political enemies. Motherfucker, you’re just telling on yourself, and that’s kind of what seems like what’s going on with the demon thing.
The former Fox News and CNN talking head was interviewed for a documentary titled Christianities? wherein he describes the harrowing incident that sure sounds like some shit he made up to explain why he’s allegedly got claw marks on his torso.
He says he was asleep in bed with his wife and dogs when a demon, or some kind of malevolent entity, began attacking him, clawing and scratching at him. He awoke unable to breathe and covered in blood with four claw marks along his ribs and shoulders.
His family, he claims, did not wake up during any of this, despite being light sleepers, he says. He told one of his assistants what happened and the assistant, an evangelical Christian, told him “That happens, people are attacked in their bed by demons.” Carlson just kind of went with that. Sure. That’s logical. Happens all the time. Though Carlson does seem like the type who can be made to believe anything.
If I had been there I would’ve told him this has all the classic signs of a Freddy Kruger attack. Carlson says the demon attack sparked a sudden desire to read the Bible. The interviewer did not ask to see the scars, nor did Tucker volunteer them to add at least a tiny bit of credence to his bizarre story. Because of course.
