“Nut” is a common way to refer to male ejaculation and this is a story about a woman whose nut allergy was triggered by having sex. Feel free to make all the nut allergy jokes you want. Get them out of your system. Okay. Now we can proceed.
A 20-year-old woman in the United Kingdom experienced a severe allergic reaction after unprotected vaginal sex with a guy with whom she was in a monogamous long-term relationship. She experienced itching and swelling on her vulva and vagina, broke out into hives, and had difficulty breathing.
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She knew she had an allergy to Brazil nuts, and she knew that her partner had eaten some a few hours earlier, but he made sure to bathe and clean his teeth and under his fingernails before they had sex. So where was the allergic reaction coming from?
His semen.
After visiting the hospital, her doctor suspected that her partner’s semen had traces of the Brazil nut allergens triggering her allergic response. The doctors conducted a skin prick test (feel free to get your prick-related jokes out now) using her partner’s semen sample. One sample was collected before he ate the Brazil nuts, and the other sample was collected 2 ½ hours after eating some.
The test using the post-nut sample resulted in a visible allergic reaction on her skin, confirming that the Brazil nut allergies were the cause and her partner’s semen was the delivery system.
You might say the results finally provided her with post-nut clarity. That’s the one joke I’m allowing in this. I don’t even know if it makes sense but I’m insisting that my editors keep it in or this will be my last day working for VICE.
Her symptoms improved 45 minutes after taking an antihistamine — cetirizine, in this case. The doctors insisted that she carry antihistamines around with her anywhere she goes and that she get an EpiPen since her partner seems more devoted to his Brazil nuts than to keeping her alive.
