Shutterstock
Five-seven-five (syllables)! The haiku, a traditional short-form Japanese poem dating back to the 9th century, is an excellent way to express emotion sparsely and simply. In 1913, Ezra Pound published the first one written in English, and it has since become popular among English-speaking poets too. The haiku was originally intended to convey the poignancy of "nature", including human activities and affairs (people also being part of the natural world). So we ran with that and asked a few men to attempt their own, reflecting on the natural phenomenon that is the penis.Jack, 26
I secretly peek
At my friends' larger willies
I feel deep envyRichard, 32
A treasure hidden
Never seen in the daylight
So why the freckles?Kostas, 33
What the fuck is that
It wasn’t there yesterday
Please be an ingrownWill, 31
My soggy spring roll
You lil grow-er, not show-er
Controlling my brainSam, 28
When going in blind
It’s natural swing finds no cleft
It hangs so far leftTom, 31My dick is plasticIt soothes my dysphoriaSuch is life, for meFrank, 25
It’s fine I’ll pull out
Narrator: it was’t fine
Morning after pillLiam, 26
Well, you're slightly bent
But we've had some good times and
Maybe straight is dullMike, 25
A butterfly stomach
The stare, shame and shaking wrist
Brings out my worst sideJack, 39
My best friend, at first
Then you got too complacent
Please, please do your jobThomas, 29
Oh my god sit down
Stop waving to everyone
You are not the queenJamie, 35
About five minutes
Before the alarm goes off
I’m already upSeb, 27
Concentrate. Exhale.
Cook dinner with chilli. Pee
Tears flowing freely For more hard-hitting investigations like this, follow Rebecca on Twitter.
Advertisement
I secretly peek
At my friends' larger willies
I feel deep envyRichard, 32
A treasure hidden
Never seen in the daylight
So why the freckles?Kostas, 33
What the fuck is that
It wasn’t there yesterday
Please be an ingrownWill, 31
My soggy spring roll
You lil grow-er, not show-er
Controlling my brainSam, 28
When going in blind
It’s natural swing finds no cleft
It hangs so far leftTom, 31My dick is plasticIt soothes my dysphoriaSuch is life, for meFrank, 25
It’s fine I’ll pull out
Narrator: it was’t fine
Morning after pillLiam, 26
Well, you're slightly bent
But we've had some good times and
Maybe straight is dullMike, 25
A butterfly stomach
The stare, shame and shaking wrist
Brings out my worst sideJack, 39
My best friend, at first
Then you got too complacent
Please, please do your jobThomas, 29
Oh my god sit down
Stop waving to everyone
You are not the queenJamie, 35
About five minutes
Before the alarm goes off
I’m already upSeb, 27
Concentrate. Exhale.
Cook dinner with chilli. Pee
Tears flowing freely For more hard-hitting investigations like this, follow Rebecca on Twitter.