VICE and Serengeti’s Alter-Ego, Kenny Dennis, Interview Each Other

Serengeti is a busy guy. He recently stirred up a tornado of excitement and emotions by signing on to be a part of S/S/S (or as I like to call it, “that new thing that Sufjan Stevens is doing”) and also released an EP based on his alias Kenny Dennis, a 45-year-old family man, rapper, and grill enthusiast who loves Chicago and “da bears.” We wanted to ask him some questions, but didn’t want to go the route of some boring ass Q&A, so opted to exchange queries instead. Passing notes with alter-egos. Isn’t that one of the first signs of schizophrenia?

VICE: Where’s the best place in Chicago to get rib tips?

Kenny Dennis: You see my guy Curtis used to be on the job, his wife’s name’s Maureen. Every Memorial Day, Easter Weekend, 4th and 5th of July and June, Labor Day, opening day, Superbowl Sunday, Martin Luther King Monday, Wimbledon Weekend and Pulaski day, my guy Curtis makes the best rib tips. You can smell them from over two miles away, melt in your mouth, spicy and sweet and tangy, juicy. That’s the best place to get rib tips in the city, my guy Curtis and Maureen’s house. 

Who do you think would win in a fist fight: Dan Aykroyd or Don Draper from Mad Men?

I heard Dan Aykroyd used to hang out with the guys from American Nijnas and Gymkata and Jeff Goldblum, I haven’t heard nothing about Donny D. So you take your pick, I’m not taking mine yet until the jury comes in.

If you could go back in time to the infamous Cubs game where Steve Bartman shit the bed, how would you prevent him from doing what he did, or would you?

I was at that game, pulling for the Marlins. I was sitting close to Steve. Foul ball comes over, I knew it was coming this way, I knew Alou had a shot, I’m yelling “KNOCK THE BALL DOWN….KNOCK THE BALL DOWN…. KNOCK THE BALL DOWN… KNOCK THE BALL DOWN, KNOCK THE BALL DOWN, KNOCK THE BALL DOWN!!!!!.” Everyone was going for the ball, I’m glad I got my hands on it.

What are some tips for maintaining a healthy marriage?

If your wife wants to listen to Stacy Q, let her. If she wants you to turn down “Sea of Love” do it, if she wants to bat 4th in the softball league, bat 3rd. If she wants to put Tom Selleck posters on the walls everywhere, it’s fine. If she’s always sending you out to do things, ok. The point is, the key to the healthy marriage is obeying and give and take. 

If you could only have one, would you opt for brats or burgers to bring to a cookout?

I’d have to keep the juices in the brats and go with the brats, I can’t imagine a cook out with only one option though. 

Which do you think is better, being loved, or being feared?

Hawk Dawson was loved all throughout the city of Chicago during his time here. Charities, pick-up games, darts, pool, bowling, ping pong… with the people of the city. Loved. However, when Eric Show came in high and tight and hit the MVP in the face in 87, he was feared. Hawk Dawson leaped to mound and gave the Padre a beating. Maddux, Dunston, Davis, Duhram… none could prevent the Hawk from his prey. Be loved then justifiably feared.

Kenny Dennis: My Bud Curtis was on the job back in ’88, said the guys on Vice Squad were real jerks, is it common for Vice Squad cops to be jerks to cops on the beat in your findings?

VICE: Depends what time of the month it is. And I’m not talking about payday, I’m talking about periods. 

Who’s your favorite athlete, Vice?

Lesbians. 

Favorite Ving Rhames flick?

Was he the snobby drug dealer guy in Gossip Girl? 

You guys have a dress code at the office?

Genitals must be mostly covered at all times. 

Company picnics?

I love that band! 

What are you looking forward to this summer? 

Being able to lure sweaty ladies over to my apartment by bragging about having air conditioning. 

@WolfieVibes