Bonjour, reader. Have we told you lately that we love you? Well, we do!
But you know what we learned from getting ghosted by rolled-beanie sk8r fuckboiz and having our accounts emptied by Tinder bots named Lacey? Actions speak louder than words. That’s why instead of just telling you that you’re our toasted Tartine bread with cultured French butter, we’re going to show you how we feel by scuba-diving through all the best Black Friday deals and emerging with the markdowns on the best-selling products for VICE readers.
Anyhow, we perused the best Black Friday and Cyber Week sales from of all of our favorite retailers and most frequented stores, and discovered that a ton of your favorite things are much cheaper thanks to big-time deals, deals, deals. Check it out now, and add to cart all of these killer finds that your fellow VICE-reading comrades love, too.
An Eames lounge chair alternative
Mid-century modern furniture will always be a great investment, and this Eames-inspired lounge is a real head-turner. There’s an entire VICE guide to shopping vintage Eames chairs and their alternatives, but y’all smashed the order button on this sleek option from Walmart (yes, Walmart) the most.
Gourmet salt that is “of the gods”
Maldon salt remains unmatched. It has a 4.8-star average review on Amazon from over 40,000 reviewers, including one who simply calls it, “food of the gods.” The mouthwatering salt crystals are the perfect finishing touch for your chocolate chips cookies, avocado toast, poached eggs, steaks, and more. As another stan writes, “It’s my secret weapon in flavoring foods.”
This Togo sofa dupe
Designer Michel Ducaroy’s Togo sofa was the clout couch of the 1970s thanks to its comfortable, curved design and inviting colorways. That being said, a vintage Togo sofa can easily cost thousands of dollars, so y’all poked around for deals on dupes and emerged with one clear winner: This two-seat, cream-colored Togo doppelgänger, which is 16% off at Wayfair right now.
Like running on a cloud
As Nicolette Acardi writes in her VICE review of On Running’s Cloudstratus sneaker, “[The brand’s] CloudTec innovation […] makes for soft landings (thank god) and powerful takeoffs, thanks to the sneakers’ feather-light construction.” No wonder VICE readers decided to slip into the shoe, too. If you have yet to sail away in the sneaker, bring it home while it’s 20% off.
Sunset lamps for setting the mood
Props to sunset lamps, dude. We thought that these lockdown bangers were going to fade in popularity, but VICE readers have continued to bring home the affordable, compact lamp for setting the mood. As VICE shopping’s Senior Writer Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp explains in her review of the lamp, “Once you’ve started exploring the possibilities of mood lighting, it’s hard to go back.” Experience the power for yourself while it’s 15% off.
Sunset Lamp (opens in a new window)
This TikTok-viral veggie chopper
This Fullstar veggie chopper has gone viral on TikTok for its ability to chop, slice, and dice everything mushrooms, garlic, onions, and more like a pro, so that your princely fingers can continue to smell like roses. Slice for yourself while it’s 20% off.
The Floyd sectional
We (and our readers) love Floyd for its clean, modern furniture that’s affordable, chic, and looks great with all kinds of decor, from MCM to Frasurbane. Our favorite pick from the brand is the generously sized, comfortable, modular sectional sofa, which is currently 30% off for Black Friday.
A mushroom-based coffee alternative
Listen, we know that y’all love coffee. But we also know that y’all are aging Deadheads who love shrooms of the psychoative and non-psychoactive nature, which is probably why MUD\WTR is such a continual hit with VICE readers. The powdered beverage has a chai-cocoa base (black tea, cardamom, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, black pepper, cinnamon, cacao, turmeric) and various mushrooms (lion’s mane, cordyceps, chaga, reishi) that are supposed to have adaptogenic properties. It also contains a small fraction of the amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee, and, as Jamie Stiedl explains in his VICE review of the ambrosia, “I enjoyed it–especially since one-seventh the caffeine of coffee is apparently my sweet spot for morning energy-beverage consumption.” Sip for yourself while it’s $15 off.
A sturdy bed frame for sex
VICE readers sexual acrobats went crazy for sturdy wood bed frames from brands such as Thuma and Zinus, the latter of which is on sale right now on Amazon. As one reviewer on the site writes, “Assembly was well instructed and easy. I did it alone.”
Fresh 501s, aka the ideal jean
We believe in the holy trinity of denim in this house: Wrangler, Lee, and Levi’s. So do VICE readers, apparently, because y’all ordered these classic men’s 501s to look effortlessly pulled-together. The iconic pant is 40% off right now, so order up and pair it with the perfect winter turtleneck.
Comfortable, invisble nipple covers
Bravo, VICE readers. You’re the James Bond of nip slips, because you ordered tons of these high-rated nipple covers from Amazon. As Becca Blasdel writes in her VICE review of the best pasties, “These are some of my absolute favorites for styling under bare-shoulder outfits, white T-shirts, and even swimsuits.”
Ghia’s non-alcoholic aperitif
Looking for a gift for your buddy who doesn’t drink but still loves a good kickback? Ghia’s alcohol-free herbal elixir that not only comes in a gorgeous bottle, but also tastes great on the rocks, in a mocktail, or as a spritz. Our editor (who’s a drinker and amaro snob, FWIW) loves the stuff, and so do our readers. Ghia is having a sale on some of its most popular items right now, so you can score not just the aperitif, but also the Totem Glasses designed in collaboration with Sophie Lou Jacobsen, at a bargain. Or grab the Cocktail Box, the perfect DIY gift set for a teetotaler, and check out the rest of the gifts that are going to sell out this year.
Dyson’s perennial fave vacuum
What can we say about Dyson’s top-of-the-line vacuums that hasn’t already been said? These things suck—literally—so, therefore, they rock. Dyson’s Black Friday deals are already goin’ hard, so scoop (and save hundreds on) the classic V8 or try the V12 Detect Slim Exta, which is Dyson’s lightest intelligent cordless vacuum, ever.
… And this affordable Dyson vacuum alternative
Yes, the freaking Always Pan
Stop resisting the Always Pan. It really is as functional as it is beautiful, which is why it has become something of a phenomenon in the home cooking world. Our Place, which makes the highly coveted thing, is having a big holiday sale, and the always-hot Always Pan is finally under $100. Grab one before the most *aesthetic* colors sell out and go bye bye.
Always Pan (opens in a new window)
It’s also stew season, which explains why VICE readers have been helping themselves to Our Place’s 8-in-1 Perfect Pot, which is also on sale for Black Friday. The 5.5 quart pot is oven-friendly and ideal for all of your breads, braises, soups, and witchy potions.
The Perfect Pot (opens in a new window)
The big-as-hell, comfy-as-hell Kova Pit
Albany Park’s Kova Pit has become an “it” sofa, and a favorite of VICE shopping Director Hilary Pollack, thanks to its comfortable composition, dreamy color options, and, most importantly, “please sprawl on me” design that fits the whole family, movie night, or polycule. Our readers go nuts for the Kova Pit, so if you’ve been thinking about smashing that purchase button but waiting for the right time, Black Friday is your moment: The brand is having sales of up to 40% off.
Kova Pit (opens in a new window)
This pet hair remover has 171,000 fans (and counting)
VICE readers love their fluffy companions and their corduroy couches, which explains why this pet hair remover and lint roller made it into so many readers’ carts. It’s 22% off on Amazon, and boasts a 4.5-star average rating from over 171,000 reviews.
Pet Hair Remover and Reusable Lint Roller (opens in a new window)
Saatva’s back-saving, snooze-inducing mattresses
If you haven’t heard of Saatva, clearly you haven’t been doing research on the best mattresses on the market today; Saatva always gets top marks. Save up to $600 on the brand’s mattresses right now for its holiday sale, including the Classic, or our reader bestseller, the Solaire, which offers adjustable firmness so you and your boo can stop bickering about whether squishy or rock-hard mattresses are superior.
The perfect winter comforter
There’s nothing worse than waking up to your sleep paralysis demon, again, in a hot sweat. We can’t really help you with the former, but we can suggest that you cop this microfiber comforter while it’s 42% off at Wayfair. As one reviewer writes about the VICE reader-loved blanket, “It’s not too hot and I always keep it folded on the bottom of my bed for when I get cold!”
Noguchi-style lamps for next-level ambiance
VICE readers sure do swoon for Isamu Noguchi (understandable, the man was a design genius), and went ham on these Japanese-inspired rice paper lamps for their unique silhouettes and warm glow. Bring home both the pendant and Akari alternative while they’re on sale on Amazon.
A Gameboy alternative (loaded with 5,000 games)
Still looking for the perfect holiday gift for the gamer in your life? This Gameboy alternative is 20% off for Black Friday on Amazon, and comes preloaded with thousands of retro video games, including Pac-Man, Street Fighter, Zelda, Sonic The Hedgehog, and more.
West Elm’s cloud-like Harmony Sofa
Ah, West Elm. We just can’t quit you (although, it’s not like we want to). When it comes to West Elm’s most comfortable couches the Harmony Sofa—a dupe for the way-more-expensive Restoration Hardware Cloud Sofa—reigns supreme. You can already score West Elm’s Black Friday savings—with up to 70% off lots of home goods and furniture—so design your dream sectional now and thank us later.
A wildly affordable, massive indoor/outdoor rug
When it comes to finding the perfect humongous rug (that doesn’t cost $5,000), we advised VICE readers to look for natural materials such as jute that look chic enough for a Nancy Meyers movie set, but don’t cost an arm and a leg. Y’all listened, and brought home this braided indoor/outdoor rug to add instant texture and warmth to your apartments. Cop it while it’s 48% off on Amazon.
The clout sneaker of the year
Gorpcore kings will already know that Salomon’s early Black Friday sale is live, but let’s take a moment to spotlight one of VICE readers’ favorite sneakers from the brand, the XT-6s. These striking sneaks are $60 off at SSENSE right now, and just begging to be paired with some wrap shades and a fanny pack for your next night out.
Good old AirPods Pro
What’s not to love? They’re comfortable, they sound great, and they’re loaded with features. AirPods Pro are 24% off at Amazon right now, and somehow, they’re still in stock, so act quick.
A comfy corduroy sofa
Corduroy couches are back, and they’re not just for 1970s-nostalgic bachelor pads. The material can bring subtle texture and intrigue to your living room, and VICE readers were especially fond of the Lonsdale 2 sectional on Wayfair, which is 58% off for Black Friday and comes in several colorways.
Our all-time favorite clit-sucking toy is the cheapest we’ve ever seen it
That’s right—over at PinkCherry, the legendary Satisfyer Pro 2 is under 30 bucks right now, which is truly bonkers. There’s a reason this toy has a bigger cult-following than literally any other sexual wellness product we’ve ever featured (or seen!)—read our Senior Writer’s full review for the succulent deets, and pick up one for your BFF, your wine-loving aunt, and yourself.
A blowjob-simulating toy y’all love
We believe that oral-simulating sex toys should be a human right for everybody and every body, which is why people with penises go wild for this male masturbator. Catch it at 17% off on Amazon, and experience first-hand why it’s one of the bestsellers from this VICE article on the best sex toys for men, according to real reviewers.
Everything from LELO… sigh
Yep, LELO is pretty much the Cadillac of sex toy companies, and we’re wowed by all of its high-end products. The brand’s mega-marked-down Black Friday deals are putting smiles on our faces and rumbles in our jumbles, and includes sales on the dual-stimulation oral-simulating wonder Enigma, LELO’s innovative, VICE editor-loved Dot clitoral vibrator, and the remote-control prostate-massaging Hugo, which is veryyy popular with you P-spot pleasers.
Pump it up
Last but certainly not least, VICE readers explored the wonderful world of penis pumps. There’s an entire VICE guide to the best penis pumps according to real, horny reviewers, but this electric pump was a clear bestseller for its high-tech design. Crowned the Power Up, this electric tube features three levels of suction intensity, and three buttons for adjusting suction and providing breezy quick-release. No wonder one Amazon stan explained that it helped them “[increase] girth and length to an unbelievable size.”
Happy shopping, our shifty little shellshocks. You’re our butterfly, sugar, baby. Don’t miss the rest of the best Black Friday deals of 2023.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.