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Windswept Sixth-Formers Are Totally in Season

A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that’s made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.

MIU MIU BEAUTY

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Image via miumiu

In what I think is probably my favourite beauty trend of all time, Miu Miu have championed the return of the “after-school-glamming-in-Starbucks-toilet-vodka-Sprite-on-the-bus” look. Which probably wasn’t what they had in mind for the beauty look of their SS14 show, but sticking a bit of each of the models’ hair to their lipgloss was almost definitely inspired by my early evenings spent in Golders Green caking Rimmel foundation and Mac Lipglass on top of each other in the hope of looking like Bijou Phillips.

Like the rest of the collection, the beauty was playful and nostalgic while being totally self-aware. Fluffy ironed hair and wooly socks added to the sixth former vibe, and amazing patterned suede coats and lace-up boots tied in with the 60s suburban schoolgirl aesthetic. Oh yeah and Miuccia knows her colours and isn’t afraid to use them. That kind of boldness is all too rare.
 

HATBRELLAS ARE A THING NOW


Image via husseinchalayan

According to Paris Fashion Week, hats that double as umbrellas are a totally legitimate invention. As disappointing as it is that the “fedora snapback” may not actually be the world’s most innovative hat, it’s time to put aside your prejudices and get on board the hatbrella trend. Is it a hat? Is it an umbrella? Does it look like something that came out of the bag of a particularly creepy children’s entertainer? Yes, yes and yes (though it probably doesn’t spin). Who cares, this is the forefront of fashion and we’re not going to let you last-season losers tell us we look like we’ve accidentally knocked a lampshade off with the wrong end of a walking stick and not noticed. Hussein Chalayan gets that if you find a great big statement hat, you probably don’t want to have to hide it under a slightly broken, sodden Santander umbrella. With that in mind he’s dreamt up the answer to wanting everyone to see the fabulous hat you’ve got on under your gigantic Santander brollie. Wow, fashion is officially the driest thing ever.
 

MARC AND LOUIS HAVE BROKEN UP

After months of speculation, it’s finally been confirmed that one of fashion’s most iconic partnerships is boxing up its pot plants, sorting through its sock drawer, sending some last-minute hate mail (well, maybe not) and going their seperate ways. Yes, sob sob sob, Marc Jacobs has shown his last ever collection for the house of Louis Vuitton. After 16 years of making history at LV (I don’t care if you don’t like fashion, this is like when Britney and Justin broke up) rumour has it Jacobs and his business partner Robert Duffy are heading back to the helm of Marc Jacobs, which to be fair probably takes a fair bit of effort to run, what with all its shops and concession lines and whatnot. In an emotional and incredibly powerful final collection, Jacobs found inspiration in all the strong women he has been drawn to throughout his career, namechecking pretty much everyone who’s anyone in the biz in his shownotes. The idea was showgirls, the mood was sombre and Edie Campbell walked out graffitid in the iconic Stephen Sprouse text. Kate Upton straddled a horse on a carousel. Fuck. I’m going to miss being that third wheel a whole lot more than I thought I would.


HUNGARY FOR FASHION?

Unfortunately it’s not only sticky lips and break-ups that made the news this week, as women at a university in Hungary stripped off to protest questionable new dress codes which would prevent them wearing anything other than super-conservative suits (read: boring) outfits to school. Did someone say dictatorship? Apparently flip-flops, short skirts, unkempt fingernails and heavy make-up all equate a level of slovenliness which just won’t fly with the staff. Weirdly, rather than splurging in Moss Bros, male and female students showed up in sandals and beach towels. And more power to them, because who really can concentrate on class without chewing off nail varnish and writing notes in biro under the hem of their miniskirts? Also, is stationery included in the individuality cull? Uh, aren’t fluffy pens pretty much a legal requirement these days? Protest away, more power to you.

Follow Bertie on Twitter: @bertiebrandes

Previously – Kate Moss Has Made the Track of the Year