In today’s late-stage-capitalism news, happy Singles Day! Today’s celebration may not be a holiday with any druidic roots, but that’s not to say it isn’t without intoxicating benefits for the sleuthy shopper, as with all other post-Roman Empire holidays. You see, Singles Day, which celebrates both single people and Kraft Singles (no, but yes) ushers in a slew of promos on just about everything that you, as a cheesy, hot Kraft Single person could imagine, from sex toys and home goods, to beauty and bedding, and more. Frankly, these deals couldn’t come at a better time, and not just because we’re more alone than ever [feeds ant farm], but because there are going to be big shipping delays this holiday season, and we’re taking every opportunity we can to not screw up our holiday shopping.
Yes, today is a day for solidarity; for chest-bumping those who don’t just walk, but strut down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. It’s also a day to sniff out deals on rad stuff that’s been living in our browser’s bookmarks bar for ages, from CBD oils and comfortable loungewear to gorgeous kitchen knives and fresh trainers to keep up running away from commitment again, again, and again.
Videos by VICE
Without further ado, here are the best Singles Day deals we could find for you and your soon-to-be ex.
ASOS
Get 25% off everything (yup) at ASOS with the code MEDAY, including our fave TikTok-famous jeans and unconventional wedding attire for men.
Bodega
One of our fave spots for snagging streetwear galore, Bodega is getting in on deals for the lonely—and a new wardrobe probably won’t hurt your chances of finding a boo, if that’s your thing. Use code 1111 at checkout for 25% off everything on the site today, including Kapital’s ridiculously rad reversible bandana jacket, or Nike’s instantly iconic Space Hippie sneaks.
Brooklinen
One of the top bedding slingers in the game, Brooklinen, will be offering 15% off sitewide on November 11. Love yourself, and get in on their classic sheet starter set.
Dyson
Get $150 dollars off the Dyson Outsize Absolute at Dyson, which is like the Tesla of vacuum-makers, from now until November 13.
Ella Paradis
One of our favorite sex toy slingers, Ella Paradis, is offering 82% off—no more, no less—on their Better Touch Vibe on Novemeber 11. So if you’ve always wanted to try a clitoral toy, now is your chance.
Foria Wellness
Foria Wellness will be offering 25% off select CBD wellness goods and more with the code ONEDAYONLY on November 11. Personally, we’re big fans of the best-selling, topical arousal oil:
Free People
The Singles Day sale is the biggest sale of the year at Free People, because you know who are the Freest People? Single people, baby. Find discounts sitewide for their 24-hour sale starting at midnight tonight, with 20% off purchases of at least $250 and 25% off purchases of $500 or more.
Garmentory
Garmentory, which should just take all of our money already, is offering Singles Day deals on a selection of their highly *aesthetic* home wares, apparel, and more, which are shipped from small, local boutiques around the country (and world!).
Good Life Knit Scarf (opens in a new window)
J.Crew
Dust off those Sperrys and get ready to steal grandpappy’s yacht, because J.Crew is offering 30% off all purchases, or 40% off when you sign-in or sign up for free for J.Crew rewards with code FRIENDS until November 15.
KORA Organics
KORA Organics is the beauty and wellness company founded by the beautifully dimpled Australian model Miranda Kerr. Get 25% off sitewide with the code SINGLESDAY2021 until November 11 (including Miranda’s favorites).
LOOKoptic
Now until Sunday, Look Optic is offering 11% off sitewide with any single item purchase with code SINGLE11, and 22% off sitewide with the purchase of two or more items (with code SINGLE22). We’re obsessed with this pair because it makes us feel like a 1981 porn star.
Wills Frame (opens in a new window)
Misen
Get $11 off single knives (we see what ya dig there) at Misen, one of the best cookware sites in the game, to celebrate Singles Day from November 11–12.
NAADAM
NAADAM is one of the best cashmere purveyors in the game, and it will be offering 30% off with the code FORYOU until November 11. Don’t sleep on their ribbed crop tank. Or do, once you’ve gotten it on promo.
Neiman Marcus
You know what hot single people do? Curate a cozy pad. Neiman Marcus understands this, and is offering up to 30% off select home items until November 13.
Reebok
Reebok is offering 60% off select styles with code SINGLE until November 11, so you can keep running away from commitment in style.
Under Armour
Now that we’re nearing winter, it’s time to wear stuff that keeps us warm and less gross and sweaty. Under Armour agrees, and is offering an extra 40% off their outlet items on November 11.
Happy day, solo riders.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.
More
From VICE
-
Collage by VICE -
Image: Trade Coffee, Collage by VICE -
In Good Taste -
Image: Dream Recovery/Edit by VICE
