How to Throw a Horny-on-Main Bachelorette Party

Ah, ye olde bachelorette party. They actually call it “the burial of a young woman” in French, which is both slightly cringe and on-trend with spooky season. Anyway, if you’ve been tasked with planning a buddy’s bachelorette party soon, you’re probably elbow deep in the internet’s most classic bachelorette party offerings; we’re talking confetti genitalia, cheap veils, Chippendales rates—all that good stuff. We dig it, we do. But there are so many other ways to jazz up the last night of your buddy’s single life with props and gifts that say, “I know you’re getting married, but we were here first.” 

Your bride or person-to-be-betrothed deserves activities befitting their love of karaoke, tie dye, and Dolly Parton; they deserve a veritable, floating island that will fit a small coven of friends, and shot glasses shaped like Willie Nelson’s cowboy boots. If the groom is pounding Jäger from a horn at their bachelor party, your crew will be sipping fernet from skull shot glasses while a personalized video message from Lindsay Lohan is projected on the wall. 

This is their night to remember (or forget), so let’s make it a juicy one... 

Did you know it’s actually really easy to get a life-size cardboard cutout of someone? Go custom with your giant head offering, or order up one of their celebrity crushes to make an appearance. You can’t go wrong with Dolly Parton, and everyone will want to feel the Bern. 

We do love us some NSFW board games, and this jack-off bonanza game is truly one of the most iconic. Here’s what you do: Fill the peens with your liquid or material of choice, from glitter to kombucha and everything in-between, and see who can get their ~member~ off the fastest.   

Here’s the plan, Stan: Everyone pitches in. Everyone learns the Ibiza hair flip routine. Everyone talks about how this night was the best night of their life, because Queen Lindsay made an appearance in a personalized Cameo video. 

Either we are scooping unbreakable wine glasses, or pulling up with shot glasses shaped like cowboy boots and skulls. How great would they be at a bachelorette weekend at a Joshua Tree rental pad?  

Someone always has to play bartender, which is cool, but it can be a little crazy to try and pour drinks all night in-between cackling buddies. Make everything easier with a high-rated DIY cocktail kit for Palomas, or a box that gives you everything you need for a spicy Old Fashioned.    

Maybe this is a crazy move. But how fun would it be to have everyone turn their cameras in at the end of the shenanigans, get the film developed, and then piece together your Neverending Story?

Surprise your closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where you can pretend things are normal just for a brief moment in time with this inflatable, eight-person Parthenon. Feed the imminently betrothed grapes and dolmas. Scott Disick is not invited. 

Bachelorette parties can sometimes be this fun, but initially awkward blend of friends past and present. If you’re about to hang out with their old sorority sisters for five hours, a good old ice breaker game is a goddess-send.  

All roads lead to Alanis Morissette karaoke, but during these sTrAngE anD uNceRtain tImEs, your soon-to-be-wed might prefer a more low-key, DIY ‘yoke sesh at home. This karaoke machine comes in a golden shade befitting the momentous occasion. It’s also portable, comes with two mics, and lasts for over three hours on a single charge, so everyone can get a crack at their ballad of choice.  

Sure, you could give attendees a goody bag of random plastic novelty toys. Orrrrr you could gift them a tie-dye robe or a silky nightshirt that they’ll actually want to wear beyond tonight. 

See you in Vegas. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.