The Best ‘Avatar’ Merch and Sex Toys (for People Who Dream in Papyrus)

Kaltxì, mate—that’s Na’vi for hello, which you would know if you’ve been to the cinema lately to see the latest installment of James Cameron’s ‘spensi sci-fi wet dream (literally), Avatar: The Way of Water (in 4DX, naturally; you’re not a Luddite). 

As with Cameron’s first Avatar film, the sequel is filled with tons of tropical space ferns, tall blue aliens, and a bunch of sea creatures that feel very nü Devonian. Whether or not the movie was good or bad is not really our concern; it simply is, and we have submitted ourselves to its CGI glory, despite the fact that it wasn’t called Avatar: The Seed Bearer (booo). 

Maybe you know an Avafan, or liked an Avatar Instagram fancam with John Mayer music; Perhaps you want to pull up to the skatepark in a pom pom Avatar beanie, or get a massive leg up on your White Elephant gifting for next year. Or maybe you, like James Cameron and most of TikTok, dream of getting your Mariana Trench licked clean by an aquatic, cat-like alien. (Remember the undersea alien that was TOTALLY not a flexible tentacle dildo from Abyss?). Whatever your level of curiosity, we’ve rounded up the best Avatar merch, gifts, and sex toys.  

Hop on your sea Pterodactyl, and let’s ride. 

Everyone else at improv will be wearing the ~aesthetic~ Avatar long-sleeved T-shirt from Urban Outfitters, and that’s cool. You, however, will be wearing a hair metal-inspired Avatar sweatshirt to let everyone know that you lay down the pipe. 

When things start to heat up, peel off your Pandora sweatshirt to reveal an all-knowing Naʼvi eyeball T-shirt, or a tee that pays homage to the alien daddy himself, James Cameron.

You could spend hundreds on an extraterrestrial bodysuit by Thierry Mugler or Jean Paul Gaultier, or you could pull up to fashion week in a bodysuit that says, “WWTHTD?” (What would the Hometree do?) As one Amazon reviewer writes, “I loved the 3D body [...] iit  gave me the illusion of everything from tits to abs and even a little bit of booty!” 

This winter hat will keep your ears toasty, and give you all the cranial swag of a 10-foot-tall cat alien. Swoon. 

… When we say ears, we specifically mean these ears. 

There’s a lot of heated TikTok discourse about which Avatar face filters suck/rock, but this Etsy artist will take your desire to live and look like the Na’vi to the next level with a custom portrait. Ideal for hanging above your bed/in your local evangelical church.   

Congratulations. You’ve made it this far, which means you probably want to smash and be smashed by a bioluminescent alien. You’re not alone, as evidenced by Fleshlight’s pearlescent, Na’vi blue male masturbator, which is perfect for re-creating one of those steamy Na’vi tail bonding moments.

Your average Na’vi jabronis can get up to 12 feet tall, which means that their schlongs might look JUST like this nine-inch long, vibrating blue dildo. It’s a high-rated bestseller on Lovehoney, where one reviewer writes, “He's a girthy boy, I was afraid it'd be really [plastic-y] and hard feeling but it's not. The vibration is really good and strong too.”  

One of Lovehoney’s bestselling penis pumps, the Hydromax9, looks like something you would find aboard one of the douchey Earthling ships parked on Pandora (only, it will get you really hard). “In terms of [the] quality of erections,” one reviewer writes, “I've noticed a massive difference [...] It's a premium price but you do get a premium product that does what it intends to a high level.”

Finally, it wouldn’t be a Pandora cuddle puddle without a shiny butt plug/neural whip for the Jake to your Neytiri. 

Eywa ngahu, king. See you at the next midnight showing. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.