How To Actually Enjoy Being Single

Are you in the middle of processing a triggering break-up and feeling like you’d rather not sit with those uncomfy feelings?

We all know that person, or maybe are that person, that rebounds from a relationship to a situationship to another relationship, in a vicious cycle to avoid being alone.

We’ve all done it to a degree. Instead of working on ourselves, we’re on dating apps, swiping on whoever we can, no matter how strong the ick is. It can lead us into toxic relationships and lose a sense of individuality because we’re always chasing after someone.

But there is value in just being single.

If you’re feeling anxious about being single, don’t worry, that’s not your fault. Society definitely pressures us into relationships.

Fortunately, we’re starting to see a shift in public opinion, with social media discourse embracing singledom and the joys of it.

While we all have unique methods of dealing with loneliness, I’m here to tell you the end-all and be-all methods and show you that being single can actually be really fun.

Enjoy your own company

Maybe the hardest part about being single is trying to adjust your schedule to only factor in your own needs, rather than someone else’s.

At the end of the day, we are our own best friend, and learning how to spend quality time with ourselves goes a long way in allowing us to be happy and well-balanced individuals.

A key component of this is learning how to develop positive self-talk and becoming your own personal hype man. Wanna ask that cute person on a date? Of course you can, you’re a catch and you deserve it. Wanna hit the gym but think people are going to silently judge you? No they won’t, everyone will be happy that you’re there and help you if you struggle.

Engage in hobbies

Piggybacking off the previous point, but in relationships, especially if they’re codependent, we sometimes forget to invest in our own personal interests and lose time for solo hobbies.

These can be simple things like quality time reading or watching shows, to social events like playing sports or online games with friends.

Picking up an old hobby is like riding a bike again, it might take a little bit to get into the swing of things, but it’ll be like you never stopped after a period of time.

Enjoy not taking accountability

Perhaps the most liberating part of a break-up is that you no longer have someone to hold you accountable. That can sound scary, but it can also be really exciting.

No longer do you have to worry about someone being disappointed in you for eating that entire tub of ice cream by yourself or staying up until 3AM binge-watching all of House M.D. on TikTok.

You also don’t have to feel shame about finding other people attractive, and you can flirt again, which can either introduce you to new romantic prospects or even new friends. Some of my most solid friendships are with people I met off of dating apps.

Invest in your friends and family

Singledom also gifts us a great opportunity to reconnect and spend more time with our friends and family. Not only do you get to pull the sympathy card for being single so your friends have to hang out with you, but you can start to develop deeper and more meaningful connections now that you have the extra time to spend. Share new experiences with them like trips, or even just stay up really late talking about life.

But this also gives you the opportunity to develop new and even more beautiful relationships. Finding online forums that share your passions and interests, or going to art or fitness classes can help you meet like-minded people.

There are limitless ways for you to get out there and start enjoying life.

Break-ups are tough, and there will be moments when you miss your ex long after parting. It’s completely normal to feel guilty for feeling happy after a break-up, especially if you’re the one that initiated it. What’s important to remember is that engaging in self-care and making yourself happy is still honouring your previous relationship. A beautiful ‘Modern Love’ essay touched on this sentiment when the author’s older therapist recounted that you being grateful is the best thing you can do.

“It’s about honouring what happened,” she said. “You met a person who awoke something in you. A fire ignited. The work is to be grateful. Grateful every day that someone crossed your path and left a mark on you.”

So go out there and honour not only your previous relationships but also yourself. You deserve it.

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