A TO Z OF SEXUAL HISTORY: N- NUNSPLOITATION

A nun walks towards the crucifix, when Jesus – a bearded messianic dream-boat – steps down off the cross, throws her to the ground, tears open her habit and does the sex in her. Ten minutes later, a novice nun is stripped naked by her sisters who whip her tits before falling into a big bad Catholic orgy, wimples and all. Weirdly though, nunsploitation is based on real life.

This genre of soft-core erotica had its heyday in 70s Catholic Europe with stories of nuns getting possessed by the devil, who was endlessly attracted to lesbian sex and violent punishment games.

The good thing about nunsploitation movies is that, unlike most exploitation porn, they're mostly set in the Renaissance and pretend to be based on real life. For example, The True Story of the Nuns of Monza and the Sisters of Satan is basically a documentary. 17th Century nuns were actually getting just as rampant as these movies suggest. Between 1550 and 1790, there were around 50 recorded cases of mass demonic possession in convents throughout western Europe. Nuns were getting possessed all over the place, which standardly involves a lesbian orgy, a dance around naked, and totally messing up your chastity vow with a crucifix. Possessed nuns would have fits, speak in tongues, expose themselves and scream obscenities. During exorcisms, they would tear off their habits and writhe around screwing invisible demons and taking the name of Christ's holy cock in vain. Here is a small selection from the ecclesiastical records:
1. During her exorcism, Sister Marie de Henin from the Cistercian convent (1613) admitted having sex with demons eight times, and that she "polluted herself with a certain lay woman of the abbey".
2. Abbess Benedetta Carlini (1626) became scissor sisters with cellmate Bartolomea Crivelli after being possessed by a male angel named Spenditello. They believed they shared mystic visions while having sex. Both died after 35 years in prison.
3. In the mass possession at Louviers, 18-year-old Madeleine Bavent (1625) said she was bewitched by the vicar and nunnery director, who abducted her, married her to the devil and then raped her on the alter. In her interrogation, she revealed years of sex with other nuns, father confessors, and the frequent use of the Eucharist for sexual acts. Other nuns admitted they too had been had by the devil at the hands of the local vicar. When possessed, they would raise their habits and beg passers-by for sex.
4. The Peruvian nun Luisa Benites, possessed by 6,666 demons, felt a penis inside her for days.
5. Sister Juana Asensi was executed in Valencia in 1649 after describing a vision in which she had a mystic one-night stand with Jesus.
6. There was a mass demonic possession of the Ursuline nuns of Loudun in 1633, with the main symptom being vulgar dreams about the local priest Father Grandier, who was clearly to blame and promptly executed. It was made into the more disturbing than erotic Ken Russell movie The Devils (1971).

Even doctors of the time saw these outbreaks of possession as sexual frustration. The physician who treated the nuns of Loudun wrote, "These diabolic and miserable nuns find themselves locked within four walls. They fall in love, sink into melancholic hallucinations, and are driven by the desires of the flesh. And truth must be said: what they need is a carnal remedy." Who doesn't?
With interesting parallels to these outbreaks, the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary let a group of psychologists into their convent for a 60s-era pop psychology three-year study in group self-exploration. The therapy sessions were a disaster, and by the end, half of the 600 nuns in the school had petitioned the Vatican to be released from their vows. Mostly because they all discovered they were lesbians. So, to summarise, all your stupidest Catholic fantasies are absolutely true.

CAMERON KING