Beauty Bandits Make Off With a Half Million in Beer and Beef Jerky

Some beautiful bastards in Quebec made off with half a million bones worth of beer, pepperoni and beef jerky last month and the coppers have warned the brilliants bandits may be selling it back to corner stores.

This includes nearly 20,000 cases of Grolsch beer while the pep and jerky were of the Jack Link’s variety—police say the street value of the booze and snacks is $500,000.

The Canadian Press reports that the heist, which was done by multiple subjects, occured in Boucherville—a southern suburb of Montreal—on March 12. The thieves were apparently more sophisticated than the typical beer and jerky bandit (ie: the Trailer Park Boys) as they apparently disabled the alarm and surveillance cameras during their heist.

To make matters worse for the company, when the thieves were pulling off their plan they filled up three delivery trucks at the warehouse and used them to get off with their booze and pepperoni. The trucks were eventually found but the beer and pep never was.

So, if this hilarious little crime caper happened almost a full month ago, why are we learning about this now, you ask?

Well, my fair reader, in a truly Trailer Park Boys turn of events the thieves have taken to selling their wares on the streets. Police are anticipating the crew to sell what they stole not to Joe Public but to stores and restaurants and are asking for these businesses to be wary of what they buy and to narc on the thieves.

But if they aren’t able to sell it, I mean, being stuck with half a million dollars worth of beer and pep isn’t the worst thing in the world. Grolsch may not be the best beer in the world, but after the first couple hundred cases I’m sure you get a taste for it.

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