Entertainment

Rami Malek Fell Off the Oscars Stage [Insert Queen Joke Here]

Rami Malek

Rami Malek’s fake teeth won the Best Actor statue at the 2019 Oscars for his role in Bohemian Rhapsody, beating out Bradley Cooper’s spray tan and Christian Bale’s prosthetics in Vice. But after Malek gave his speech and the cameras cut away or whatever, the guy’s big night took an unexpected turn: He slipped and fell off the side of the goddamn stage.

According to People, EMTs immediately raced over to check out the actor, but apparently he was fine, all embarrassment aside. He even managed to hang onto his statue. It was a pretty minor moment to end a pretty minor Oscars ceremony, but the incident left us with one very important question: namely, what Queen joke can we make about it?

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The obvious choice would be something related to “Another One Bites the Dust,” maybe referencing Jennifer Lawrence’s own slip-and-fall moment back in 2013. But that’s too easy, right? There’s got to be something better. Let’s see.

Malek was probably surprised and embarrassed by the tumble, but he pulled it together because, you know, “The Show Must Go On.” Or maybe: Everybody cut Rami some slack, the guy was really… “Under Pressure”? No? OK, let’s keep thinking.

“Crazy Little Thing Called a Very Slippery Oscars Stage”? “Don’t Stop Me… Ow”? “We Are the Champions (Or We Would Be If There Were Competitions for Falling Down)”? Maybe we try a different tack: Paramedics raced to Rami’s side to give him some Live Aid? Nope. No. No way. That one is truly heinous. This paramedic thing feels like it has potential, though. Something about how they ostensibly took Malek’s temperature… old thermometers… mercury… Freddie Mercury? I don’t know, man. This is hard.

If anybody has the perfect Queen reference, please, by all means, let us know. There’s bound to be one good joke out there, whatever it [Brian] May be! Oof. Sorry. That’s it. We’re done.

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