Who Is America? is full of great characters, from Cohen’s faux-liberal Dr. Nira Cain-N’Degeocello to that Finnish YouTube star who got Sheriff Joe to scream at a toy donut, but his Israeli anti-terror expert, Erran Morad, is by far the best thing about the new Showtime series. It was Morad who ran Roy Moore through a pedophile test, got Dick Cheney to autograph a waterboarding kit, and who let now-disgraced GOP lawmaker Jason Spencer ruin his career by screaming the N-word and pulling down his pants to expose his bare ass.
And on Sunday’s episode, Morad did it again: convincing pro-gun crusader Dan Roberts that the best way to survive a beheading was to chomp down on a terrorist’s dick—and then having him bite onto a dildo for practice.
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“I survived two beheadings… there is only one defense,” Morad tells the founder of Youth Shooters of America, a guy who has previously railed against the Parkland survivors. “The only vulnerable point is the groin… Do you want to want to have somebody remove your manhood?”
“Right, right, no, of course not,” Roberts says.
“You bite, you have him,” Morad goes on. “Don’t let go until you are safe.” Roberts appears pretty interested in learning this particular skill, so he drops to his knees as Morad, wearing a strap-on, wields a giant sword. You know, standard anti-terror training stuff.
First, Morad orders Roberts to “identify the target,” so the gun activist eyes the pink, bouncing dildo. Then, Morad orders him to “attack.” Roberts pounces on the dildo, chomping down on the silicone schlong and yelling orders. “Nobody move! Drop your weapons!” Roberts shouts as he forces Morad off the gym mat, words a little garbled from the rubber cock in his mouth.
“Don’t follow us or you’re next,” he threatens the non-existent other terrorists at this hypothetical beheading. “My mouth is big enough for two of these!”
Roberts still hasn’t publicly responded to his appearance on Sunday night’s episode, but presumably a guy who’s rallied against “restricting the rights of the people” would also respect freedom of expression—even if that includes Cohen coercing him to eat a dick on national TV, right?
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