Working Girl

Ceara,

I am so excited right now that my tiny little boner is ready to pop out of my little underwear. Of course you wouldn’t see it cause it’s about like a baby carrot or a Vienna sausage. It still squirts a lot of jizz though. I know when it has been about two days since my last whack off I can get enough out of it to almost fill my mouth. MMMmm I love eating cum!!! I really hope you can make some VERY RAUNCHY ASS SMELLING PANTIES!!!! I LOVE STINKY TASTY SKIDMARKS!!!!! Talk to you soon I HOPE!!!

Thanks,

PEEWEE Ceara,

Hi Pookie!! As promised, I have sent the $67 via PayPal. I was so excited that I almost couldn’t wait until payday got here!! It is a privilege to smell the stinky feet of a girl like you!! I am going to the athletic store and I am going to buy a headband so that I can strap your little socks against my nose in a hands-free manner. Then I am going to fantasize about being tied spread-eagle to your bed, with you forcing me to sniff your stinky feet, while giving me a hand-job!!!!! BOING!! Now I’ve gone and done it!! I’ve got a stiffy in my pants right now as I type this!! See what you do to me, Ceara?! You are an incredibly desirable little hottie-tottie!!!!

Love ya baby girl!!

B.W.

These pink mesh nylon panties sold for $67 to a sad little man in Florida who refers to himself as my, “#1 admirer with a HOT HOT online crush.”

These pink satin fullbacks sold for $80. Panty perverts love big soft girl undies. It makes for a smoother ride when they’re polishing their little soldier’s helmet. Barf.

White see-through mesh panties; sold for $76. Facedown/ass-up is always a great selling strategy.

I exchanged these cheap three-year-old sneakers plus a bag of used tampons for a new cute pink pair of expensive running shoes.

There’s not much I can say in defense of human toilets, as I will never understand how anyone could get a boner over eating prepackaged shit. Regardless, the moment I discovered there were men out there this sexually deranged and (most likely) emotionally damaged, I was kicking myself for just flushing all that poop down the actual toilet. Never again!


Ceara,

I am plenty knowledgeable about all aspects of FEmale products and consider myself a true connoisseur. It is no lie or exaggeration when I say I’ve consumed in excess of two tons of FEmale excrement over the past 42 years. If I included non-excrement stuff, it would be nearer to four tons. YOU can see that this is no passing fancy for me. I live to be a toilet for GIRLs. Life would truly be pointless if I were cut off. In the past 42 years I’ve invested over $150,000 in my shit-eating pursuits. Naturally that’s money well spent, but as my life runs out, I want my final days to be a big and glorious event. From YOUR point of view, I’m just a decrepit and gross old shit eater, and my only worth is: I’m someone to shag as many bucks from as YOU can, but in my mind, I’ve paid my dues and put in my time, and as grand as it all was, I want only the best from now on. When I’m sitting around in my rocker on the porch of some old folks home, I want to remember the faces of GIRLs like YOU and let my imagination fill in the odors and taste YOU were willing to share with me. I want and need memories like that to sustain me in those final days. BTW, I also like sucking on and eating used menstrual products, eating drain hair, finger and toenails, belly button lint, boogers, used band aids, hacked up stuff, snot from when YOU’re sick, or anything else YOUR perfect FEmale body can produce. Maybe we can do other transactions in addition to these pee/poo packages. Bye for now.

YOUR toilet, turdboy (aka kopkop)

PS: YOU said my email almost made YOU vomit. I’m sorry about that, but if YOU do vomit, please try to do it into the container of poo. I will pay extra for it. Thanks.

In conclusion, I’m pretty thankful for discovering how much money and free entertainment can be made from the excessively masochistic and socially inept. I’ve found it to be an amazing way of relieving stress and improving self-esteem. I would recommend it to all girls, except that might mean less money for me. So ladies, keep working that stripper pole. Thanks.

TIERNEY CEARA
 

THE NITTY GRITTY

       

Here’s the photo I used.

My ex-boyfriend’s mom bought me this red thong for Christmas a while back and it really creeped me out. I sold it to some degenerate for $64 so he could cover it in his ball snot. Now it’s not so weird.

Glittery spandex thong sold for $92 to a nut who simply adores the smell of butthole and dirty feet and indulges in his fetish via wrapping used socks and panties around his face with a head strap. He calls me his “Pookie-Licious Snuggle-Bunny.”

You probably think your grandma has the best recipe for jam in the world, but I bet she can’t sell a four-ounce jar of it for $30.

Hot-pink see-through fullbacks sold for $59. Nice and easy.

The profits just pour out of me, basically.