CLOWN MEMORIAL

Yippie Time Out Guardian

As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears, dispense more cheer than gloom, spread more cheer than despair.

Never let me become so indifferent, that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child, or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.

Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them happy, and forget momentarily, all the unpleasantness in their lives.

And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper: “When you made My people smile, you made Me smile.”

At the end of the service everyone went to the next room for a post-funeral clown performance.

Somehow, I got lost walking between the church and the performance room (even though they’re joined together) and ended up in a little area at the side of the stage. I figured this was probably a good place to watch the show from, as it meant I wouldn’t have to deal with any people.

I always thought people who were scared of clowns were wacky, attention-seeking idiots that think David Hasselhoff is funny, but some of these guys were FUCKING TERRIFYING.

I thought I was getting so freaked out because I was high, but looking at these pictures now is giving me chills. LOOK AT THIS GUY. Who could find that face anything but completely horrifying? He has tattoos and a tongue piercing!

Look out, kid! BEHIND YOU!!!

I found this guy so disturbing that I did a little asking around about him. Apparently his name is Rico. RICO! Shouldn’t clowns be called Bozo or Happy or something? To me, the name Rico conjures up images of pro wrestlers and shower-rapists from prison movies. This is Rico “performing”. What the fuck is happening?! I assumed my confusion was due to being high, which is why I videoed it. But seriously, what the fuck is he doing? Toward the end of his performance, he started to strip (that’s his belt on the floor). At this point, someone killed the music and ushered him off stage. Oh hey there worst-person-in-the-world-to-be-standing-next-to-while-stoned! What’s goin’ on? Another thing that is hard to deal with while stoned is being two inches away from a billion screaming kids. They just kept getting more and more intense. Eventually it was too much for me to handle, so I had to GTFO. RIP Grimaldi! JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE