If you like Star Wars – like, really like Star Wars – then you’ll know that the extended universe stretches far beyond the running times of each film. There are planets, characters, and entire plotlines that never appear on the big screen but are instead part of the rich tapestry of mythology. I guess it must have been this commitment to fleshing out every possible corner of the galaxy that inspired Star Wars to make a series of official Spotify playlists for each of the main characters in the movie. Why else would someone make a playlist of music for fictional characters from a fictional universe? This is more than fun.
The playlists have been around for a few months, but with each clocking in at two hours, and over fifteen characters covered, it’s taken me this long to fully consume every single one and come away with some sort of substantial meaning. I mean, it must mean something right? Nothing happens in Star Wars unless it’s for a reason. I know I haven’t wasted my time. Guys?
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On a real, get your headphones out, because there is seriously so much to be learned from these playlists, like: BB-8 digs Japandroids! Storm Troopers listen to Van Halen! Anakin Skywalker is actually way more emo than Kylo Ren! I haven’t been with a woman in weeks! The Millenium Falcon just bangs out dad rock! Basically, it’s all essential material for any Star Wars stan. So, here are the key learnings:
ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS AN EMO TRY HARD
We should have seen the signs when he suddenly started wearing loads of black, but Anakin is a total mid-2000s emo try-hard. He’s shot for internal emotional anguish and ended up at “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance. Judging by the playlist, I genuinely reckon his mum lucked out staying on Tatooine. I can’t imagine much worse than Anakin storming past Obi Wan on the way to his room, shouting about how the Jedi Council don’t understand him, before slamming on some Alkaline Trio to soundtrack a session writing poetry about deep space angels.
Essential track: “Centuries” – Fall Out Boy
KYLO REN IS EVEN WORSE
You may already know this having spotted the soaring Emo Kylo Ren Twitter account, but the Spotify playlists do attest that K-Ren is a genuinely miserable fucker. His long black hair, pale complexion, and permanent scowl — that is when he’s not wearing a metal mask like a rogue member of Sithknot— marks him out as the heaviest, whiniest, bitchiest Knight in the galaxy. He’s blasting out Korn, Papa Roach, and Black Veil Brides, while carving his initials into his “rad but super dangerous so DON’T touch it” lightsaber. Kylo Ren gets drunk in dive bars and complains about “his old man”.
Essential Track: “Vengeance” – Woe is Me
YODA DIGS THE EMOTIONAL TECHNO OF JON HOPKINS
As expected, the playlists suggest Yoda is a chill guy. Lots of ethereal electronica and musique concrete. He’s just made a pot of Assam. He’s got some big cushions on the floor of the Jedi temple, and he’d like you to switch your phone off. Yoda wants you to know that music has the power to heal. You’ve been crazy stressed all day and Yoda just wants you to take your mind somewhere else. Somewhere green, and far away. A swamp in the Dagobah system, that’s right. Just relax. Wait, Yoda, did I just see you drop a pill? Yoda just dropped a pill. He’s one of those guys that does pills in the house, lies back and sheds happy tears to Jon Hopkins. He is wearing comfy pants.
Essential Track: “It Was Willow” – Bibio
ROADTRIPS IN THE MILLENNIUM FALCON WOULD BE AWFUL
Before you get into the Millennium Falcon on the promise of it making the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, bear in mind that the in-flight stereo is going to be a major buzz kill. Between them, Han Solo and Chewbacca have the aggregated music taste of every dad born between 1950 and 1970. Han Solo has come through with Johnny Cash and Led Zeppelin, and then Chewbacca is actually playing Skid Row – something nobody has sincerely done since 1992.
Essential Track: “This Old Heart” – Skeets McDonald
LANDO CALRISSIAN LISTENS TO CRAIG DAVID
No words.
Essential Track: “Fill Me In” – Craig David
LUKE SKYWALKER IS PROPER WET TBQH
Maybe it’s all that time he spent on a moisture farm, but Luke Skywalker’s music taste is wet bruv. Legitimately, the saviour of the Jedi, the son of the chosen one, listens to a playlist comprised of Coldplay, Jack Garratt, Mumford and Sons, and Jungle. That’s like finding out Jesus watches the Big Bang Theory.
Essential Track: “Jackie and Wilson” – Hozier
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You can listen to the Spotify Star Wars playlists here.
