VICE
Editions

Newsletters

Food

Here Are Our Top 100 Guesses for What IHOP’s New Name, IHOb, Means

By

Share:

For the past 60 years, the International House of Pancakes chain has sold hot cakes and greasy breakfast meats to weary travelers, old people, and drunk teens all across the nation (and Mexico and Canada, hence the “International” part). Sure, IHOP isn’t the best diner or the nicest or even all that good, but by God, it is consistent—and that consistency goes a long way when it’s 2 AM and you’re trying to find food to wolf down somewhere within walking distance of your shitty motel.

No matter where you are, no matter what kind of terrible scowls or bad vibes the locals lay on you, you can always count on the fact that inside each and every IHOP franchise is a grinning pancake with cherry eyes and chocolate chip teeth waiting for you to savagely devour it. But, unfortunately, it looks like the one pancake constant in this cruel, dark world isn’t actually as constant as we all thought.

Videos by VICE

On Monday, IHOP took to Twitter to announce that the restaurant chain will be dropping the “Pancakes” from its name and rebranding itself as “IHOb.”

IHOb? The world whispered in unison, testing the unfamiliar syllables. Eye-ha-buh. What, pray tell, could that new “B” be?

For now, at least, it remains a mystery. IHOP says it will announce the new acronym’s meaning next Monday, June 11, but until then, all we can do is wait anxiously and speculate about the fate of our beloved mediocre pancake chain. So in honor of the death of IHOP and the birth of the mysterious IHOb, here is a list of VICE Staff’s top 100 guesses about what the mysterious “b” might stand for:

  1. International House of Breakfast – This is the seemingly most obvious choice since IHOP might just want to expand its name to include more than round syrup traps, but the company’s Twitter seemingly rejected the idea already. Let’s keep guessing.
  2. International House of Burgers – More lunchtime options, maybe?
  3. International House of Beef – In case they don’t want to be pigeon-holed with just burgers.
  4. International House of Beer – An I-hoppy IPA.
  5. International House of Brunch – Please, lord, no. We have enough avocado toast out there.
  6. International House of Borscht – Really leaning into the “International” vibe here.
  7. International House of Brie
  8. International House of Bacon
  9. International House of Butter – IHOP is basically this already, so maybe it’s time to embrace it.
  10. International House of Berries
  11. International House of Bud – Suck it, Jeff Sessions.
  12. International House of Blazing – Doesn’t really have as nice a ring to it as the previous choice, but it’s another option if the chain wants to dive into the cannabis industry.
  13. International House of Buzzfeed
  14. International House of Bronies
  15. International House of Babies
  16. International House of Boomers
  17. International House of Bananas
  18. International House of Barron [Trump]
  19. International House of Boners – Sounds terrible.
  20. International House of Business
  21. International House of Brother
  22. International House of Billions – Cross-promotion is important
  23. International House of Ballers – People love The Rock
  24. International House of Benghazi
  25. International House of Bush Did 9/11
  26. International House of Bernie (Would Have Won)
  27. International House of Brosocialism – the pancakes are free to all workers, but Chapo Trap House is playing over the PA system at all times.
  28. International House of Boredom
  29. International House of Beyoncé
  30. International House of Becky
  31. International House of Bleach
  32. International House of Bribery
  33. International House of Basquiat
  34. International House of Bieber
  35. International House of Balderdash
  36. International House of Bitch
  37. International House of BDSM
  38. International House of Bondage
  39. International House of Bono
  40. International House of Barley
  41. International House of Bleep
  42. International House of Bees
  43. International House of Biggie
  44. International House of Birds
  45. International House of Backlash – This whole marketing ploy is inevitably going to blow up in the company’s face.
  46. International House of Beans
  47. International House of Beds
  48. International House of Blintzes
  49. International House of Bhad Bhabie
  50. International House of Blubber
  51. International House of B.Y.O.B.
  52. International House of Boss Baby – Because it deserves more than just an Oscar nom.
  53. International House of Bird Flu
  54. International House of Betting
  55. International House of Bumps
  56. International House of Bats
  57. International House of Brats
  58. International House of Beats
  59. International House of Boooooooooooooooo – This list sucks.
  60. International House of Benecio [del Toro] – OK, now it’s getting better again.
  61. International House of Bonobos
  62. International House of Booty
  63. International House of Breakdancing FBI Agents
  64. International House of Bitterness
  65. International House of *extreme Beach Boys voice* Bah-Bah-Bah-Barbara Ann
  66. International House of Blabbing
  67. International House of Bunions
  68. International House of Bass
  69. International House of [Chuck] Bass – XOXO
  70. International House of Bee Movie
  71. International House of Bongs
  72. International House of Bullshit
  73. International House of BOFA
  74. International House of Billiards
  75. International House of Banter
  76. International House of But Her Emails!!!
  77. International House of Bangles
  78. International House of Beatles
  79. I Hate Other Bodies
  80. International House of Burnouts
  81. International House of Blessings
  82. International House of Banging
  83. International House of Barking
  84. International House of Bias
  85. I’m Having Only Bread – For the inevitable gluten-free diet backlash.
  86. International House of Bashing
  87. International House of Bagels
  88. International House of Balloons
  89. International House of Bazinga
  90. International House of Bellyaches
  91. Inside the Home of BOB – Through the darkness of future past / the magician longs to see.
  92. International House of Beige – An underrated shade.
  93. International House of Beanie Babies
  94. International House of Baboons
  95. International House of Beasts
  96. International House of Bing Bong
  97. International House of Bruh
  98. International House of BLOOD
  99. International House of BTK Killer
  100. It’s Honestly Obnoxious Branding

IHOP is dead; long live IHOb, whatever it turns out to be.

Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.

Follow VICE on Twitter.

Tagged:
, , , , , , , ,
Share:

More
From VICE