Barbie Ferreira Learns How to Talk Dirty

In this episode of How to Behave, Barbie learns how to talk about all things sex. “Girls have long been taught that sex is dirty, shameful, and above all, private—not something nice girls talk about,” she says. “But is a reluctance to talk about sex harmful? If you can’t talk about sex, how do you navigate a world of constantly changing sexual etiquette? How do you get what you want and be a good partner at the same time?”

Growing up, Barbie says she was scared of sex for a lot of reasons, beginning with her self image. To learn how women overcome their sexual anxieties, Barbie visits women’s sexual health expert Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus who tells her about the sexual obstacles that she helps women deal with. From pain during intercourse to a lack of desire, Dr. Marcus gives women the tools to work towards a healthy sex life, and Barbie, who describes her sex life as “OK,” is no exception.

Barbie admits to not being entirely attracted to a guy she’s hooking up with but isn’t dating. She also says she likes “guys who are not grossed out by sex in any way”—not a description her current partner fits. Dr. Marcus suggests she learn to fantasize during sex, but also gets frank with Barbie. “If you can’t talk about [it], the sex isn’t going to be good,” she says. “Try not to be critical, but try to be honest.”

Next Barbie meets Selma, a dirty talk instructor at Strip Expertise, who teaches Barbie about the three different levels of dirty talk: naughty, dirty, and nasty. Selma starts off by showing Barbie how to nail the perfect sex moan both with and without words. Barbie gives it her best shot—even if she can’t keep a straight face. Selma also emphasizes the importance of checking in with your partner in between dirty talk. “If you’re not watching what’s going on then how are you going to know if it’s going well?” she says.

In the end, Barbie learns that our sexual questions and insecurities can be solved when we open up a dialogue about sex, that talking dirty is always hot when paired with confidence, and that if you don’t fake an orgasm, your partner will survive—even if their ego takes a little hit.