Drugs

Cheerleader Busted for Allegedly Using Pot Brownies to Win Homecoming Votes

A 17-year-old cheerleader at Hartford High School in Michigan allegedly wanted to be homecoming queen so badly this year that she hatched a scheme to guarantee she’d win big—by passing out weed brownies in exchange for her classmates’ votes, WWMT reports.

According to Hartford police, the teenager supposedly whipped up a batch of pot brownies for a few of the school’s athletes and handed out the extras to other students in hopes of drumming up some goodwill for her homecoming queen bid, since a good queen keeps her subjects suitably stoned or whatever. Unfortunately for her, some, uh, law-abiding student anonymously alerted the higher-ups at school to the homemade edibles, and the administration—and police—stepped in.

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“We are investigating two things,” Hartford PD’s Michael Prince told WWMT. “Number one, some were put in goody bags for players. Also, they were used to obtain votes for the queen contest.”

School staff reportedly confiscated three uneaten brownies out of what was believed to be a batch of 12, but nine of the edibles are still unaccounted for, likely warping the minds of young and impressionable Hartford High youths while they try to sit through Chemistry or whatever. The school is now interviewing students and working alongside the police to gather information about the cheerleader’s alleged connection to the illicit treats.

“You always think you’ve heard it all and seen it all, and there is always something new to surprise you,” Prince said, apparently having missed literally every stoner comedy ever made, since they all involve an obligatory scene about pot brownies.

The girl, whose name has not been released because she is a minor, is currently out of the state for a “family emergency,” according to WWMT, but police and the school will both likely want to sit down with her once she makes it back to Michigan, since she could face felony charges for giving out weed edibles on high school property.

It’s unclear whether the girl will be disqualified from homecoming queen if she is found guilty of the brownie bribes, but hopefully, she’s learned her lesson regardless—there are easier ways to cheat your way into homecoming royalty, if you really want to. Happy Mean Girls Day, everybody!

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