How to Stay In is a series about redefining "normal" life in order to take care of ourselves and one another during the COVID-19 pandemic.
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I saw a tweet over and over again this weekend that said that you won’t ever really know if what you’re doing to socially isolate yourself will personally help; “that’s the nature of public health.” I actually knew it right away. If I’d flown home from New York City, where the number of coronavirus cases multiplied exponentially in the time it took for my grandpa to get hurt, and hugged my mom in the pickup line at the Houston airport like I always do, she would’ve taken whatever germs were on me to my grandparents’ house. Obviously I can’t know what viruses I might or might not have been carrying or what would have happened next, but I know from all the charts and graphs that my 80-year-old grandparents are the most vulnerable to severe, deadly infection.
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Unless you’re stranded abroad and need to get back home, or have some emergency situation that dictates you leave where you currently are, there’s no real justification for doing so. There’s no loophole to poke, or case to make for being an exception to the rule. I’m sorry, and it sucks. Presented with more information and access to epidemiologists than most, I still tried to convince myself of the same thing. But you’re not the exception and neither am I. None of us are.I’m currently sitting in my apartment and have no idea how long I’ll be here. I’m scared and have been losing sleep over it. But even if being here right now fucking sucks, I’m glad I didn’t book a $50 flight and put countless lives at risk. It’s easy to feel like I’d be better off if I’d left when I could’ve, as if I ever could’ve known how long the window would be open for, but I know now the best decision was always for me to stay where I am. It’s pointless and painful to try and imagine being in a different situation than the one I’m in, because the one I’m in is still relatively lucky and nice. There isn’t a loophole to pursue; if you’re looking for one, the answer is no: You shouldn’t and really can’t travel home.Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.Follow Hannah Smothers on Twitter.